Monday, May 18, 2009

Emotional Touch....Touching My Skin

Friday May 15th at 7:30pm, I graduated and joined the world of CSU Alum. My "diploma" in hand I will admit I'm a little scared to face this big ol' scary world but SO excited!! It's been an emotional ride to say the least.

I write this laying in my Brighton. It's still odd being back here. I expect to be headed back to Fort Collins at any time now and it just won't happen. This is my place in the world for now.

It was so hard leaving and saying goodbye. I have been an emotional rollercoaster the past week. I cried after finals, not because I was done with finals and exhausted (though that might have contributed to my low emotional threshold) but because goodbye was coming. For the first time in my life it's been SO hard to say goodbye. A great year gone, a "family" I'm no longer living with, and my home that no longer exists. The night before Shelly's graduation I bawled, at her graduation I was SO proud of her and bawled, moving home after having given Britt the last hug I will for awhile and moving stuff home I bawled. Shelly came up Saturday and stayed over and it was bittersweet. She has really become one of my best friends. I drove her to Colorado Springs yesterday and we spent the ride blasting Celine Dion and Lady Gaga. Oh I'm still not ready.....but here comes goodbye. When we hugged yesterday I didn't want to let go....but when we did we said "see you....soon". That was hard. I'm used to "see you in a few hours!"

Now I have to find a job. YIKES!! I'm not quite sure how I'm going to but I will eventually. I want something relaxing, I want to enjoy this summer, I want to have a little bit of fun this summer, before I work full-time and rest before nursing school.

I got to meet Eric's parents last night! Lorenzo and Jeannette (spelling?). They are two very sweet easygoing people :) Lorenzo's stories made me laugh and Jeannette had a very welcoming personality and can chat someone's ear off!! I think next time I'm going to talk about pictures and have her bust out old pictures of Eric....he said she would and I didn't want to say anything the first time around but second time around is fair game :)

It was a very great evening....we sat out on the back porch eating and talking, it was a beautiful day, there were a lot of laughs all around....those are the kind of days I live for. Nothing too extraordinary but what makes life worth it.

We also played a couple games of Wii....he kicked my butt at bowling, tennis, and this awful cow racing game in which I may have lost point wise but I won in terms that I took out more trees than he did with my cow ;) We also played a game of pool in which despite all his bragging, I schooled him!! :) It was so was cute to watch him get all worked up over having been beat by me!!

We also watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button....long movie but still pretty good. At least it didn't make me cry! And of course we cuddled on the couch, holding hands and caressing each other's cheeks. A lot of cheek kisses :) A lot of breath taking kisses, a couple intense electrical-filled moments of kissing, a lot of smiling and enjoying the moment. Very addicting and comfortable in every way possible.

When I hugged him goodnight, I loved the big hug he put me in. And the three little kisses before we got in our cars to go separate ways (he headed back to his place in Denver).

This week we're going to go hit the driving range...I found my golf clubs!!! I can't play a round of golf yet as I haven't golfed in six years but the driving range would be excelleng :) and I need to go find a swimsuit...the pool at his place is almost filled!! You can bet I am going to love hanging out in that pool!! Oh how I love summer!!

This week has been full of emotional touches....a lot of hugs, laughs, tears, kisses, caresses, handholding, hand-clapping, etc. It's been hard and easy, bittersweet and loved. I wouldn't trade any of it for a's how I know I'm alive.

I've figured out what my next tattoo is going to be. It's going to be the words "I Love You" in latin on the side of my foot....the three most important words you can ever hear in this life. This week has reminded me of that :)

Shelly and I after her commencement ceremony

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