Monday, May 30, 2011

Silver Anniversary

25 years is no easy feat in marriage...especially now-a-days with the divorce rate being higher than 50% and marriage something people do over and over.

I am proud to say that my wonderful parents have made it to this wonderful milestone!!

May 24th 1986, both my parents got married in a little church in Riverton, Wyoming, exchanging vows to support and love each other through both the good times and the bad. And that's exactly what they have done. They have faced some very hard times and some very wonderful times together. They have stood together and fought their was through raising four kids. There have been times where their support and devotion to each other has actually been frustrating to me, but I respect their commitment to each other that comes before their commitment to their children.

Us kids, though not having much money, decided to throw them a little surprise party to celebrate their silver anniversary. While it didn't go without a few bumps and a TON of procrastination, it was a success and I hope it showed them how special their love for each other is :-)

Hopefully I'll have more money to do something even more special for them on their 50th (GOLDEN!) Anniversary :-)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


There are little parts of me that I've tucked away for quite a while starting to come back out!

Passions are slowly re-awakening; hopes and dreams are coming back. And I am laughing in my real full-bellied laugh.

Wow, I want to fly.

I'm still trepid with slight fear. What if I get hurt or what if things fail?

But then I remember....the only way to fail is to have tried and to have dreamed and given my all. And why would I not do that?!

I'm excited.

Now let's see what happens from here....

Monday, May 23, 2011

It's All About The 'Tude

Here I sit at work and I realize the power of one's attitude.

Well I've always realized that, which is why I've always tried to have a more positive, uplifting, and supportive attitude towards life and others. But right now, its' importance is proving beyond significant.

But the power of one's attitude can have such a tremendous effect not only on your day, the flow of your day, but also on the flow of others, their attitudes, and the effects it all has on their entire day.

Though I don't possess enough power to always make someone's day who is determined to just have an awful day and piss poor attitude, I am realizing more and more how important and how powerful a positive attitude can have.

And also the power of an awful attitude.

I hate excusing rude and bad behavior. There is not excuse for it. But I know most others do...often stating "That's just how so-and-so is". However, make no excuses people. There's no excuse for others to just totally be rude and bitter and awful.

I may not know all the answers in my job and I might slow others down...but really I have been praised for my willingness to help others and my positive attitude. I love making other people's day and trying to help support them in everything that they do! Why aren't others this way?! It's so powerful.

For example, I might flub up in my job as ward clerk but my willingness to say "Thank you" and "Please" and "You're Welcome" to all the nurses, patients, and doctors has a powerful effect. I hope it makes them all feel appreciated. And my willingness to smile, help out, and figure out a situation rather than brush it off.

One clerk said "I have the power to make or break your day." Really, I can make or break anyone's day. But why would I ever want to boast that?! I don't ever intend to use that power maliciously, only in a positive manner and I wish others had that same make everyone else's day!

Attitude: so important and so powerful. I hope it's being used in positive and supportive ways...not the opposite.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Live A Beautiful Life

On a very random side note, I have had a tattoo on my left shoulder for over a year now. I love this tattoo, but I've never taken a picture of it. I've wondered exactly what it looks like on me (considering I'll never be able to actually see myself from the back...). And I've needed a reason to pick up my camera. So last week I did.

I busted out my camera, set up the shot, put on the self-timer and waited to see what the lens would capture.

Very ego-centric being in front of a camera in a way, but it was really cool to see what I "look" a new way...sorta. And to see what my tattoo looks like on me.

So here is the picture that came from that shot.

Live a Beautiful Life....sometimes I forget what that means, other times I remember....I'm glad this is one of those moment's I remember what that means and why I got that tattoo :-)

The Buddings of Summer

There is a reason I don't live in Seattle...and I'm learning more and more that as much as I LOVE the smell of rain and as much as I know we NEED it, I would much rather have the sunny Colorado days I'm used to! Two weeks of dull dreary grey clouds and rain is enough for me!!

Despite that, my mood has been considerably perky. I'm getting frazzled still training at Denver Health. I've learned I do not like sitting behind a desk. I knew that before but it's been confirmed. I have two parts to my job, that are completely opposite. One is ward clerking (hence desk-ish work) and the other is direct patient care. I won't be trained on that until I'm done with my eight weeks of training for ward clerking. 12 hours behind a desk is just a bit much for me! But luckily that won't be the only thing I do eventually! It's frazzling, and stressful, and crazy for me. But it's part of learning.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

I keep reminding myself that these are the first steps in that walk of a thousand miles! I will be very glad once I'm past the first couple miles ;-) Until then I'll just keep on trucking.

However, some interesting stuff does happen. Working on the unit that had the eating disorder program was so fascinating. Those people are so fascinating, frustrating, and insane all at once. It's like the walking dead roaming the hallway. One gentleman came in with a ridiculous pressure ulcer that had gotten so bad you could see bone in the gaping wound. And let's not forget Mr. B who was caught smoking crack in his bathroom. Oh the joys of Denver Health! Some pretty interested stuff happens in our neck of the woods sometimes! Oye always need a little Jeff Dunham jokes to keep the shifts going well :-) "Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?!" Bahahaha love love it.

I had a very hard night the other night. I was babysitting the Hummell boys and a couple other children. Five children, under the age of 10. Five children are a handful no matter what. Especially when they aren't your children. And you aren't their mother who can comfort them. Which became a huge problem at bedtime. For three of the kiddos, the problem was simply I wasn't their mother to put them to bed for the night. A few tears and the statements "When is mommy coming home?" and the tearful requests "I want my mommy." I can handle those. And then there was the more difficult end of the matter.

For the Hummell boys, it's deeper than the obvious superficial conclusion that I'm not their mother. But that in itself has a whole other meaning. Their mother Diana passed away in October, of which I spent the last few weeks of her life with the Hummell family in their home. I'm not the boys mother, and it has been a struggle that no one on this earth is their mother. It has been a struggle for them that their mother is gone. Their mother, a stay-at-home and very hands-on mother, is no longer there for them. And their father, Cam, is working as hard as possible to provide for his family. The boys are strong-willed and Zachary lets each woman know that they aren't his mother and can't act in the role his mother did. Dawson is slowly taking on a more strong-willed personality, looking up to his older brother. When it came to bedtime, a few factors came to play. I wasn't their mother, I wasn't their father, and I couldn't give them the exact love, attention and routine that they miss and crave and struggle with. This ordeal of sorts turned into an hour long struggle to get the boys in bed. In between the tears and the struggle I found myself praying to the Lord "Lord please just give me the strength, the grace, and the words to say to these boys that might provide some comfort. In the midst of some tears, after an hour of struggle, I was able to reach into a part of Zach's heart and provide a little bit of love. We were able to shed some tears together and I was able to give him a hug, a hug that he probably hasn't had in a long time. I was able to tuck him into bed with a hug and a kiss. After that I was able to console Dawson and tuck him into bed with a kiss and the promise that I would sleep with him until he fell asleep.

The lesson learned?! God does answer even the most desperate prayers when you need them. The only way I was able to reach those boys was through some unknown grace of the Lord given to me at that moment. Some love and some words that were only able to come from Him. I left that night exhausted, heartbroken for the boys, but so thankful that we have a Lord that sometimes answers prayers right on the spot, at that moment in time, when we cry out to Him. He hears us. And He lifts us up when needed.

On another note, I went on a little impromptu hike the other day with a new friend of mine. Very refreshing to be outside, and to be with someone who was so laid-back and with a great sense of humor. I'm looking forward to seeing what becomes of this newfound friendship.

Applying to nursing school again. I got rejected from the traditional program but am applying to the accelerated program. If it doesn't work out, who knows what the Lord has in mind.

Right now I'm just taking it all day-by-day. Had a great breakfast at Snooze with a dear friend. Ran in the rain. Got soaking wet. And oddly refreshing. Excited to see what happens. And I can't wait until the sunshine comes back around and starts beckoning the beauty that is summer. Ah, new opportunities. A little bit of fear but let's see what happens, eh?!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Work Work Work....


Has two weeks really gone by?! Really?! I feel like life just gets faster and faster and faster and I don't have time to slow down and smell the roses.

Although it's raining and I can smell rain right outside the window right now ;-)

So orientation has been so chaotic for me. I'm orientating on a cross between night and days with no set schedule and my body is constantly in a state of "what the hell is going on now and when am I going to get sleep?!" My daily small cup of coffee and the occasional Red Bull are serving as little sparks of gasoline to reignite a fire under my bottom to keep me going. Danskos are now my shoe of choice and I'm trying to learn how to incorporate the barious aspects of my fun and wacky wardrobe into the bland world of color-coded scrubs. Thankfully Dansko GETS that wearing scrubs is quite bland and I have a fun pair...hopefully will be buying a zebra print pair here in a bit! And I'm learning how to wear some fun prints under my scrubs. And earrings, thank you earrings for being so wonderful and funky and bright!! For realz though. I wear black scrub pants with a sky blue scrub top. Need to flair it up a bit somehow! While still being practical!

Other than that, I pretty much live in my room sleeping, trying to catch up on what is going on the world, with no social life, and watching the occasional episode of Law & Order: SVU on netflix....other than that life is crazy and revolved around work! But at least I can pay my bills right now! Hopefully....until I have to pay for school and then I'm still trying to figure out how that puzzle is going to work out...