Today was the second exam of nursing school. True to form, I had a huge anxiety attack before our my first one last week. It's hard not to when you don't know what to expect and your future is "reliant" upon this exact exam. Ok ok, so that's really dramatic but that's how it felt before that first exam, knowing that I'm finally going towards something I care about, that my future resides on. And of course, I walked out with a 95% in the bag. Silly goose!!
My first exam grade!! That's right, important enough to take a camera pic of it :-)
I walked out of my second exam with a 98% in hand. I know my exams will get harder but I'm pretty impressed and proud of myself currently!! The studying is actually paying off!!
Like I was saying though, every hour of every day is accounted for, and I've never been so organized, yet so disorganized before in my life. Life is a pure and simple beautiful chaos of craziness right now with no hopes of slowing down anytime in the next few weeks. I have a planner to keep my time organized, a "to-do" pocket notebook to make sure I can keep my brain from forgetting too many things. And a calendar in my phone for highly important events with reminders (for those things that I know I'll probably forget but HAVE to remember).
But the program is pretty good so far. I'm learning more how to relax and enjoy it rather than get frazzled by it. While some of the students know everything and are true "go-getter-em-all", I'm not that way and I'm very realistic about my expectations. I know I'm a slow learner. I know that no matter how many times I've learned the route of the flow through the heart, I simply can't memorize it. I'm aware that I'm a pretty horrible test-taker most of the time and get bad test anxiety. I know that I can't double-guess my answers without negative reprocussions. I know that I can't realistically can't memorize drug names as fast as other students (my brain just is not THAT detailed oriented). I know that I'm always a step behind in reading. I'm very realistic and because of it, I know my limitations and can therefore push myself yet enjoy myself as well. This is a journey that is meant to be reveled in, as much as possible, and not let it get the best of me. And that's what I'm going to do!! Even in those moments that I'm so completely frazzled!!
There are also some ironies. Like having downed a half a pot of coffee and studying laxatives...
The next week of my life is pretty planned out, full of nothing but school and studying...tis my life, but it's enjoyable and fun, at least in my opinion currently :-)
I found a quiet and peaceful studying nook in the library with a great view of Main Hall. And it's obviously peeking out from the clock that resides over the main of the campus. Quite lovely!! Even on an oddly dreary afternoon spent studying for pharm.
My desk is my usual study spot, and hence the place of attempted organization! A calendar with the major due dates color coded, my class schedule for the 1st 5 wk session, my stethoscope, my little Ethie presiding over, the library and fitness center hours, and of course my other miscellaneous planners, to-do notebooks, and my handy-dandy study aids!! (Complete with hydration of course)
Studying...as usual :-) And now this girl is ready for bed!!