Monday, May 11, 2009


Eric and I hung out on Saturday.

Butterflies and electricity.

He gives me butterflies....hardcore. I'm so comfortable around him, I love looking at his warm eyes and welcoming smile. I love to listen to his laugh and car sounds and random stories.

His touch sends electricity through my body. Literally. It's hard to describe other than his touch makes my skin tingle. The feel of his hands in mine is better than anything I've ever felt before.

We cuddled a little on the couch watching Slumdog Millionaire. Bliss.

We then cuddled in his bed watching X-Men. We kissed a little bit. His kisses make my heart race and take my breath away. Warm, light, passionate....everything I've ever wanted. Gentle, soft, juicy lips. Attraction all around.

Cuddling up on his shoulder with my arms around him is something I can easily get addicted to. It feels so incredibly right. More right than anything I've ever felt with any other guy. It's taking me by surprise.

I've never felt this way before. It's indescribable. It's exciting. It makes me nervous. It makes me happy.

I'm trying very hard not to fall.....but somehow I know for the first time in my life I'm falling in love. Trying very hard not to but struggling against already falling in love with Eric despite what every rational cell in my mind and body tells me to do.

I won't regret it, I know that's for sure. I just don't know if it's too soon. How soon are you supposed to fall in love with someone?! How soon is too soon?! I've never fallen in love with anyone before. I made myself fall "in love" before because I wanted to be in love. It wasn't really. That I regret. But this, even if this doesn't work out, I won't regret it. Because I'm trying not to let myself, but it's happening anyway.

Oh silly little girl, your heart runs wild.

But this is one man I don't mind it running wild for. This time it's not a mistake, it's so completely right and healthy.

So weird to say that, I've never liked anyone in a healthy way, never had a healthy relationship. This is healthy. And I can recognize that. Even if I am a silly little girl whose heart is running wild, it's in a healthy and natural way.

I can't stop the electricity, I can't stop the falling....but I like it. I like this new electricity, I like this healthy subtle excitement, I like the comfort, I like my breath being taken away.

For the first time, this is something I want. Not in the bad way, not in the needy way. I don't need Eric. I don't need his attention, I don't need his affection, and I don't need to be with him all the time. However I want to be with him, I want to spend time on adventures, I want to see his warm smile, I want to hear his laugh, I want to feel his hand in mine, I want his happiness.

Electricity. Breath-taking. Trying not to fall....but falling anyway....

P.S. I have a new to come soon :) It's a 1983 Trek!

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