Thursday, April 30, 2009

Absolutely Ridiculously Obnoxious Underwear

Shelly and I had a little shopping excursion today that was probably the sweetest shopping trip ever.

We went to Forever 21 after we got done with class at noon. I found an absolutely adorable little black dress to wear for our fancy party. The best part is that it's strapless. Mark your calendars lady and gentlemen....this is a historic event :) I'm super looking forward to it but also super nervous. Is the thing going to stay up with my unusually small boobs?! Granted now I have sticky boobs (one of those stick-on bras) so that helps out matters tremendously!! Pictures will be up later this weekend after the party :)

Then we headed over to JCPenney's for Shelly to try to find a dress for graduation. We also wanted to mosy along and look at the hats (which they didn't have) as we both want to wear big ridiculous hats for our fancy party. No such luck for that thus far. Anyway, we got distracted by trying to find adorable underwear for the 2nd Annual Underwear Run here at CSU. This event was started last year to protest the early morning finals. Shelly and myself want to go out with a bang and do something people normally wouldn't see us doing. We want to create memories, fun memories :) This also includes buying more covering underwear.

So we get distracted trying to find cheap, cute, covering underwear. What we found was ridiculous bright covering underwear :) Both our underwear are neon orange/purple/yellow/pink/blue plaid. Mine is traced with neon orange and purple siding. Shelly's is traced with frilly lacy neon green siding. Shelly is wearing a bright pink bra. My bra is bright orange/green/purple with neon orange fish!! Like I said, absolutely ridiculously obnoxious underwear....and I personally am SO excited to wear them!!!

We are doing this run next friday night at 10pm. We are going to drink with some friends beforehand as anything involving running almost naked in front of hundreds of people is going to involve some alcohol consumption ahead of time!

Anywho, a very emotionally healthy rewarding day for both of us I must say :) That's what happens when you spend the day with your roomie that you love to be around shopping for the most ridiculous underwear imagineable!!


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Winding Down

The end of the semester is almost finally upon us. I'm getting nervous as always a lot of my grades ride the line....the difference this year is my motivation and drive to really work hard at the end is really just not there. So I'm trying to keep my act up until the very end but we'll see how it goes.

I finished almost all of the ends of my busy work tonight. The only things I have left are an online discussion, moving all of my portfolio to a cd to hand in, and turning in the last two assignments on friday.

After that it's just study study study!!! I plan on studying a little each night next week so that way I'm not cramming, I can't afford to do that this semester, I need to get some good grades!!

Ok, on to more exciting things....fancy party in T minus three days :) I have decided that I'm going to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies, buy a cheap bottle of Boone's Farm and try to find a cute dress tomorrow :) Shelly and I are going shopping before heading to my brother's swim meet. I really need to find a cute dress. Eric and all his shennanigans about him (not) telling me what he's going to wear but saying that he's going all out has me a little antsy.

It also has me a little kicking my ass.....there was this absolutely adorable cocktail dress I found at Forever 21 in October that fit me perfect and was cheap and would have been a killer dress to wear on sunday....but did I buy it?! Of course not because I don't wear or buy dresses. Kicking my ass right now!!! Oh well, hopefully I find a cute inexpensive one tomorrow when we go :)

I would sit and update a little more but I need to get home and finish homework and get some food :)

Oh and it was a beautiful day outside today.....HOLLA!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Maybe the Beginnings of Something New....

Last night Eric and I hung out again :D

He came up to FoCo just to visit me and hang out....we didn't really do much but it was one of the best nights of my life. We hung out at my place watching youtube videos and laughing for awhile....then we went to MexiCali for dinner. He wanted to pay for me and I negotiated that he would pay if he won 2-out-of-3 for rock paper scissors, if I won then I would pay for myself....I won :) But I honestly would have let him pay....but at the same time I don't want to be that girl who automatically allows people to pay for things for me.

Then we went back and watched Billy Madison and talked and laughed. We ended up at one point kind of holding hands :) Very innocent but very exactly what I need right now.

I know that on my end, I feel something very special might be happening between us and I don't want to rush anything, I want to get to know him and drink it all in. He's a great guy and I don't want to compromise anything, and I feel like because of all that I need to take things slower. I definitely have the urge to kiss him though, his smile is just irresistable.

Probably the funnest part was going outside and playing frisbee. I really like being active with someone that I find myself attracted to, and with him, just being is very easy. He had a light-up frisbee and we went outside and tossed it back and forth to each other. He likes being outside and going on adventures and so do I.

Like I said, I just have the feeling something special might be developing between us.

And at a few points he was telling me how much he liked my squeaky laugh and how much I smile around him....we literally almost never stop smiling or talking, which is a wonderful feeling right now.

I can't explain how I feel right now.....there's something uniquely right about this, something very comfortable....we get along together so easy and enjoy being around each other in a very laid-back and casual manner, we make each other smile, I know we both are attracted to each other.....but this is a feeling I've never had's new and in a way uncomfortable as it's brand new territory but I like it.

Anywho, I don't want to jump ahead of myself....I'm trying very hard to rein back emotions until more develops between us....but I'm very excited about everything right now :)

He's going to come up to our fancy party next week....and I'm very excited for him to meet my roommates. They have even commented on how very different I am approaching everything with him....even Britt who has known how my relationship was with Scott last year and has watched me go through my single craziness this past eight months.

Speaking of fancy party, Shelly and I have decided we are going to buy huge ridiculous hats....Kentucky Derby style....and rock this thing!!! I will have to have plenty of pictures taken if we do in fact decide to buy these hats :)

Alright, well I am going to head to Forever 21 to try and find a cute cheap dress for the party!!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

One World: New Project

Go to and type in one world, you will watch a 4-minute video that is truly inspiring.

Which has inspired my newest project....we all know I love photographs, I love my family, and I love this message. Hence my newest project.

I'm going to slowly have family members write their own message on their hands, whatever they want to write, and make a black-and-white collage. I think it would look great on my wall and would truly be amazing :)

It might take me awhile to get everyone but I think it would be absolutely wonderful to have a collage like, something very personal.

Anywho, moment of inspiration....had to share.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Senior Presentation

Last night we had our senior presentation. The basics of the project was to pick a health issue of concern to the public, specifically trying to target the US population, do the research, compile it into a poster, and present it to the department faculty and grad students. Basically this project is half of our grade for senior seminar.

Andrea, Molly and myself worked together on this project. One of the overlapping themes between us are the concepts of being healthy at most any weight, eating natural and local, and not consuming pharmaceutical drugs. At first we wanted to address the public health issue of obesity and learning to distinguish between genuine obesity and really just being built bigger and still being healthy/fit. Think Kevin James. However there really isn't any research being done on that and we have to back all of our stuff by research and journal articles.

So eventually we found a lifestyle approach we have all been contemplating and like. The Mediterranean diet. We then started finding more and more literature that seemed to suggest there's a link between decreased prevalence of Alzheimer's disease (among MANY other chronic diseases) and the Medi Diet.

So voila, our topic came to be The Mediterranean Diet and the Prevention of Alzheimer's Disease!!!

Last night the faculty and grad students drilled us. One recent Ph.D. grad student and Andrea got into a 45-minute discussion of the biochemistry-related pathways. He started off talking to me and I honestly deflected him towards Andrea who understood it better. One professor, Dr. Melby, decided to lecture us for 45-minutes which pissed me off. We are there to present and discuss, not sit through a lecture from professors, but I guess that's what happens when you get big-headed professors talking to people about subjects they are "passionate about". Dr. Auld and I had a pretty good discussion on how easy the diet is to follow and whether the US population really would adapt and be able to incorporate the diet into our lifestyle.

The Medi Diet isn't just a lifestyle with food.....when you look deeper (of course, not backed by research) it's also their lifestyle that contributes to less incidence of chronic diseases. It's a completely different way of life and way of eating and way of looking at food. Of course, you can't say that when your professors are looking for the clinical trial proof and such.

Which leads me to my last exasperation, honestly I think research when it comes largely in the form of nutrition research, is the biggest bunch of bullshit. You can't really "prove" anything, especially as food and nutrition and eating is so synergistic, meaning it depends on multiple confounding factors, not just one thing....and when you only look at or change one aspect, you will have effects in multiple other areas. It's just stupid in my opinion....but hey what do I know, I'm just a lowly undergrad :)

our poster hanging in the Gifford building near our department

my group and i happy to be done "presenting" our poster after over two hours....

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Happy Earth Day everybody :) I wish I could be outside celebrating the earth but no I'm stuck inside all day in class or at what the h-e-double hockey sticks?!?!? However I did get to pet the cows and sheep outside on my way to class!!

Anywho, it's absolutely gorgeous outside, great music has been playing in the plaza all day and we get to listen to it being right inside the doorway. It's been a great day other than being stuck inside :)

Here at the IBOX we house the campus-wide lost and found....we get some pretty random stuff sometimes. Seriously, really random....rearview mirrors, tripod parts, longboards, lunch boxes, lipstick, hello kitty shoes, etc.

This was the newest random addition to our lost and found collection.....not JUST a license plate....but a license plate still attached to part of the car it was on....

Gretchen and Ali modeling the fabulous license plate

Ok, one more class and then I'm home free for the day....too bad it's 4pm at that point....and I've missed some of the best parts of the warm amazing day. Oh how I love spring time!!! :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Adesyn & Cinderella

Here are a few pics to introduce Adysen Rae to the world and of Shelly and I's absolutely amazing day spent doing a puzzle, cooking, and watching Cinderella :)

Adysen in her older brother Brett's arms

Adesyn in daddy's arms

introducing Adysen to the crowd :)

in grandma's arms

my absolute favorite picture.....Adysen and her dad smiling at each other :)

the puzzle and Shelly watching blue collar comedy tour....around midnight...

working on the puzzle

yum....we made chicken and eggplant parmesan!!


How do people POSSIBLY live in Seattle?!?!?!

Honestly I don't get it.....the weather does SO much for my mood!!! I woke up this morning and it's a bright, warm, sunshiny day and I can't imagine not waking up to that 300+ days a year!!!

And also, you wouldn't be able to enjoy this view.....

Colorado is SUCH a beautiful state.....honestly!!!! This picture almost looks fake!!! Where else do you get such random beautiful skies like this all the time and get to enjoy it while driving?!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Adysen Rae & Overall Goodness

I got to meet the newest member of my family today :)

Her name is Adysen Rae and she was born April 1st.....she's ABSOLUTELY adorable!!! I will post pics soon.

It was great to see family too :) I love spending time with my family and extended cousins and loving/hugging/tickling/kissing them!!! I just love family. That's all there is to it!!!

I have a dress for my military balls. I decided to wear my black dress with gold embroidery from sophomore year homecoming (yes sophomore year of high school). Oddly enough my boobs shrank from the last time I wore it....but it fits just as well otherwise. I'm going to try to find some pasty boobs to fill it out a little more. But I do have one for the ball on friday!!

I didn't get to hang out with Eric yesterday due to the weather....BUT I think we will get to hang out this next weekend. We both really do enjoy each other's company. This sounds weird but I really would like to go out to the driving range with him and hit some golf balls or go tubing or something fun and active....just to get to know each other that way.

We are having our semi-annual fancy party again this semester!!! Britt and Shelly have bright red dresses to wear.....which means I need to find a cheap bright dress to wear....I can't be the 3rd hostess in a boring black dress!!! lol And I would LOVE to find a huge ridiculous Kentucky-derby style hat to wear with it....just for shits and giggles!!

Shelly and I had a tremendously rewarding day yesterday!!! We spent the morning at the gym (Shelly doing yoga and me doing the elliptical/weights) for an hour-and-a-half and then we went and got some much needed grocery necessities (milk, bread, eggs). We came home, napped, got showers, made some lunch, went and got some food for dinner (we got the ingredients to make eggplant and chicken parmesan!) and then made dinner, watched classis disney cinderella and started a 1000-piece puzzle. There was LOTS of laughter and love to be had :)

This week is my senior presentation of my poster. Aye yi yi. I think we'll be good...once I apply myself and get the last of it done.

Ok I would write more but I'm off to eat some of Shelly's excellent meatloaf and study for my exam tomorrow.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Eric and I got to hang out yesterday afternoon :)

It's ridiculous how easy and how comfortable we can sit and laugh and talk to each other. We literally spent four hours just talking and talking at his place yesterday. Random stories. Lots of laughing!

I find myself really looking forward to every time we get to hang out now. I'm currently hoping that the weather gets better as he was going to be coming up to Fort Collins this weekend for a friends birthday.

He told me it was a big excuse to come hang out with me again!

While I'm really excited, if it's something that leads to dating, I really don't want to jump into something too quick....I find myself so very much interested in him and so excited at how we are connecting that I don't want to jump into anything too quick. I want to take time and really get to know each other :) It's really exciting though.

Shelly even commented on how she can tell that I legitimately like him and how she gets a good vibe just on how I talk about him and how things are developing between us (anyone following this knows the last seven months have been completely crazy on my part).

Anywho, we all know I like pictures so being the stalker I am, I thought I'd post a pic to show you who Eric is :)

But that's all I'm going to say and show of him now....I don't want to ruin a good thing...but I have a feeling you will all be hearing more about him as time goes by :)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Absolutely Priceless

The following was the beginning of a text message convo between my brother Marshall and I.

Marshall: Hey Sis you awake?

Me: Yeah I'm awake

Marshall: Guess what :)...i hit a grand slam today

Me: Really?!?!?!?! Sweet!!!!! I'm sorry I missed it :(

Marshall: I wish you could have seen it cuz i always played bad when you came to see me but now i'm pitching and hitting better ugh. I hit it for you tho fyi :) :)

Me: Awwwww well thank you :) that means a lot!!!!! I just wish I could capture it with my camera!!!!! I know, I'm hardcore bad luck. Where did you play?

Isn't that sweet?!?!?! He hit a grand slam for me :) I wasn't expecting him to say that at all.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Well today is the day of military ball invitations....

I will be Cord's date to his unit's annual dinner/ball. He's in the National Guard Reserves. Considering he's one of my best friends and brought me ice cream saturday night when I didn't feel like going out while I was in Brighton, it would be an asshole move of me to say no.

I will also be Joe's date to the AFROTC dinner/ball next friday night. Joe and I are in APO together.

I have to find a dress and some flats that go with that dress for each ball....because in all honesty, neither one is very tall, especially Joe as he is the same height as me and I want to be sensitive to that.

I am going to hang out with Eric tomorrow :) I'm excited about that. Excited to get to know him better. I have to go back down to Brighton to take some stuff to Kevan and downtown Denver is simply 20 minutes farther down the road. It also sounds like he's coming up Saturday for a friend's birthday. So maybe we'll get to hang out then too :)

All these balls....that means I ACTUALLY have to find and wear a This will be a first in five years....mark your calendars, it doesn't happen often.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

For The Love Of....

Sweatpants :) I literally live in my athletic training pants anymore. Mainly because my ass can't fit into my jeans anymore, but also because they are so darn comfortable.

Jackets :) for they keep me warm in class.

Roommates :) Shelly and I have developed a bond I'm really going to miss when I'm not living with her. I laugh more whole-heartedly with her than I do with anyone else. I'm really going to miss her company and our very open relationship.

Building new relationships :) making new friends has to be one of the best things in the world, not to mention exhilarating.

Fostering old friendships :) the ones who know you best and have been there are the ones that I want in my life...and I can't wait to keep building all of those friendships.

Brothers :) for they are the only people who will ever really know what growing up was like and share the same mud-pie, pasture-grazing, barn-jumping, lego-building, swing-set, kickball memories.

Mom :) because she's the only woman in my life who will give birth to me and know every inch of my skin.

Dad :) for he's the only guy (other than God) that needs to be in my life.

Cameras :) they capture all the memories I will forget when I'm older.

Chocolate :) what else can always make me feel better!!

Boys :) life wouldn't be the same without them.

The Golden Girls :) because it's perhaps one of the funniest shows I know....never gets old.

Memories :) for they will be all I have left and what I hold dearest to my heart.

Love :) it's the only thing worth living and dying for.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Throwing Up Is No Fun

I always love the mornings where you wake up, you're feeling great, your hair cooperates(!), you look darn smokin, the weather is beautiful, you're ready to take on the world.....and a few hours later you are trying desperately to make it home without passing out and find yourself puking in other people's yards on your way home.


I have no idea what happened or why?! I don't have food poisoning, I don't have a cold, I didn't feel bad this morning....and I wind up almost passing out in a class. I thought it might be because my blood sugar felt sort of like that. Like how when you don't eat breakfast and get really hungry and shaky and can't concentrate until you give your body some glucose. Only it was worse...this horrible nauseousness came with it and my muscles felt like someone had hit me with a crowbar.

I ate a few plums thinking blood sugar....but alas that wasn't it. I felt bad in my next class, left after only 15 minutes, caught the bus, and ended up throwing up walking from the bus stop to home three times and then a fourth when I got inside.

The sad thing was all I could think while I'm actively puking is "what a waste of $3 worth of plums....sad day"......

I DID get to take an incredibly nap though. Apparently I was out to the world. I didn't hear the phone alarm go off (which was right by my head on my bed) nor Shelly when she came in screaming my name (as I left the front door standing wide open which she isn't used to coming home to). I slept for four hours....I'm still exhausted and am gonna go to bed early but it felt nice.

Too bad I had to waste such an incredibly beautiful day....and my hair cooperating and looking great for once!!

Anywho, I have a make-up exam on friday that I'm pretty nervous for. I have five A's and two C's....this class would be one of those C's....but apparently everyone else is doing bad in the two classes I have the C's in....and apparently I'm doing a lot better than most. So that's good right?! Maybe for once we'll get some curves going at the end of the semester....hmmm.

Alright, I am going to try and stomach some saltines....hopefully I'm not worshipping the porcelain god in the next few hours....waste of plums I'm telling ya....

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Coming Back

This weekend I'm spending in Brighton for the holiday with my family but I spent today meeting with a couple friends and catching up.

It's been surreal the last couple months as people from Brighton/high school are starting to pop up again in my life. But it's also been nice reconnecting with old friends, getting to know those who didn't necessarily talk to me much in high school.

Coming back isn't always the greatest thing....for one I'm REALLY not a fan of Brighton. I'm absolutely in love with fort collins, it's community, and all it has to offer. Brighton is lacking in SO MUCH compared to FoCo.

However, re-establishing or igniting relationships is always exciting!!!

I had coffe this morning with my aunt, cousin and nephew. Playing with Tyce was fun :) Other than once again people think he's my He's such a cute and intelligent little boy. I'm trying to teach him how to say Nic. We're getting there.

Then I had lunch with Crystal :) Catching up with a friend I've had for going on nine years now. It's great having someone who knows you.

And then I met up to have coffee (again) with Eric. We went to high school and graduated together but oddly enough we never once talked to each other. We actually have a lot in common after talking. But he was outrageously shy in high school and I mostly stuck to those I knew really well. He's VERY nice, has a great smile and a very laidback, optimistic personality as I can tell so far so that's been a plus.

It was sort of crazy. He added me on myspace a few months ago out of the blue and I was surprised as I honestly thought he didn't know who I was and had mistaken me for someone else. After a few weeks he hadn't said hi or commented me so I sent a comment saying hi. We started talking and today we met up for the first time!!

I can't wait to get to know him better.

As far as I can tell, coming back is going to have it's in Brighton vs FoCo atmosphere. But it's going to have it's ups. A bunch of friends are coming back for the summer, friendships are blossoming, and I have several really great projects and opportunities ahead of me.

God works in mysterious ways always :)

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Eat Food, Mostly Plants, Not Too Much

So one thing I have realized with my major.....I really find it a pain in the ass with all the contradictory messages out there when nutrition is really quite simple. As is being fit. The only thing we fight is the ridiculous food industry and it's grip on global society.

Here is my philosophy that I'm trying to implement as much as possible (budget plays a huge role right now in my food selections):

Eat real food, mostly fruits and vegetables, eat local, organic when possible, and savor your red wine and dark chocolate.

Burn as many calories as that of which go in my mouth. When I want to lose weight, simply burn more calories. This doesn't mean not eating, this means maintaining energy balance. Simple as that. Physical activity is easy to incorporate into to work if possible (yes this might mean getting up ten minutes earlier), get outside and do garden work, clean your house, have a raunchy night of sex with your significant other, park farther from the stores.

With that, sometimes it's easier said than done....I more than anyone know this...especially eating on a budget. But eat when you are really hungry (learn to listen to your body), stop when you BEGIN to feel full, stay active, and if you can't meet all these goals it's ok.

When I can afford it, my goal is to start eating according to the Mediterranean diet. It's basically lots of fruits, veggies, complex carbs, legumes, nuts, fish, with smaller amounts of dairy and sparing sweets/red meats. Enjoy a glass of red wine at lunch and dinner. It's the foremost protective lifestyle change to CVD, Alzheimer's and overall living healthy. (Incorporating physical activity is a must though).

Let's get back to eating from the earth and eating REAL food....and using our bodies!! They weren't meant to sit all day.....get up, get active, enjoy your natural foods, savor the taste, and feel better about yourself!!!

On my to-read list: In Defense of Food

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

For One More Day

I just got done absorbing Mitch Albom's book "For One More Day"....literally. I just read it in a couple of hours. That's why I like his books. This is the second one I've read. They are easy, quick reads.

But they are profound.

I read his book "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" over winter break over four hours on a lazy afternoon. What struck me was that by the end of what was seeminly a simple story was something that resonated within me, leaving me crying (which I do when emotions get overwhelming in any sort) but very much glad that I read a book with such a deep and impactful meaning.

That book was about a man who dies and in his heaven he has to meet five people. They are all people who played a vital role in his life in one instance or another, all of whom he never understood how vital of a role they played until he heard in what way they had an impact in his life. They all literally had saved his life in one way or another, though not necessarily in a huge jump-on-a-bomb life sort of way.

At the end, it also ties into how one day Eddy (the main characters name) will be waiting in someone else's heaven to guide them after they die. At the end of the book he gives his life by saving a little girls life on one of the amusement rides he attended to.

I highly recommend reading the book.

Anyway, this book "For One More Day" is just as profound, about the importance of family and a mother/son relationship. The main character's name is Chick Bennito and it's about how he tries to commit suicide and gets to spend one more day with his mother. It's an equally fantastic and profound book.

I especially like this line in the second to last chapter "You need to keep people close. You need to give them access to your heart."

Learn to love those around you, to spend quality time with those you love, to enjoy the time you do get to spend with them and not take it for advantage. Because you never know when is the last time you'll have with someone.....and if you'll be spent wishing for just one more day with them.

The Antidote

Now the damage has been done
And this machine has begun on a path of destruction
We need the medicine
To reverse what's been done
Before this disease has destroyed everything we know

All we need is a reason (All we need is a reason)
All we need is right here inside us all

With our weapons drawn and all our resources gone
We're facing extinction
The only antidote consists of blood, sweat, and hope
And a blueprint to save us from all that we've become

All we need is a reason (All we need is a reason)
All we need is right here inside us all
All we need is a reason (All we need is a reason)
All we need is right here inside us
Here inside us all!


Now the gears they will fail to turn
As the lights go out
And the sun will be all that burns on our way down
(On our way down)
But right now we have to understand the problem

So arm yourself
You'll mind your gun
It's time to learn
Accept what's done, and yeah

All we need is a reason (All we need is a reason)
All we need is right here inside us all
All we need is a reason (All we need is a reason)
All we need is right here inside us all
(All we need is a reason)
All we need is a reason
(All we need is a reason)
(All we need is a reason)
All we need is a reason
All we need is right here inside us
Here inside us all!

[The Antidote by Story of the Year]

Tuesday, April 07, 2009


I just wanted to say that I'm in an ABSOLUTELY great and joyous mood :)

Shelly and I had a great workout today, my hair looks cute and is cooperating, I was able to get a pair of jeans on today :D and the weather outside is just amazingly beautiful!!!

It's making it extremely hard for me to bring myself to go finish spending the rest of the afternoon inside listening to senior seminar :( I think I might skip the lecture part and just go to work with my group on the poster part and finish enjoying some more of the afternoon.

I must also say I'm very much enjoying laying outside listening to music and just being....I know that sounds kind of funky but I am thoroughly enjoying it. I also love rocking matter what....I'm addicted to listening to music right now again....mainly Breaking Benjamin, Bullet for My Valentine, Chevelle, Framing Hanley, Anberlin, Forever The Sickest Kids, The Offspring, Sick Puppies, Decypher Grey, and Egypt Central.....

Currently loving and listening to: "Hearts Burst Into Fire" By Bullet for My Valentine :) Great song....don't listen to the lyrics, just feel the music....lyrics are sort of melodramatic but it's such a get up and feel good beat :)

What I want to tell my teacher: 'Dance Fucker Dance" hahahaha it's a lyric from "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by The Offspring :)

Alright, contemplating going to class or sitting outside again for awhile....oh either way I'm leaving this laptop :)


Monday, April 06, 2009

Speedos and Longboards

This was the highlight of my day!!

Where is my camera when I need it?!

After walking out from the gym with Shelly, we're driving through campus to go home. When right in front of us at a stop sign a guy with an ipod and earbuds in his ears comes sailing by in a dark blue speedo on a longboard :)

This is why I love people....they never cease to fascinate and amaze me....not to mention make me BUST UP laughing....we need more people like speedo longboarder sometimes.

Saturday, April 04, 2009


So I thought a good way of trying to figure out my life in the upcoming months is stating a few goals of things I would like to get done:

1. Lose a few pounds and start eating healthier again. I have let my weight go by the way-side. I'm not normally one of those people to obsess over my weight. But when I can't wear my jeans anymore, I know it's time to change my eating and exercising habits. I would also like to look good in a swimsuit this year as I fully intend on buying one. I don't own one right now but it's one of my oogle items.

2. Finish Kevan's scrapbook (this is a must). He graduates the week after me. It has to be done. I know I'll have more time at the end of the semester but for now it's on hold until I have more pictures and time. I'm also looking for an actual scrapbook cover that fits his style.

3. Start building up my photo portfolio. It's funny how I spend hours right now finishing my worthless senior portfolio and all the while all I can think is ways to start my photo portfolio.

4. Take a drive through Estes on a clear spring day :)

5. Downsize the amount of stuff i own....I feel like sometimes I just have too much clutter in my life.

6. Start working towards getting a job through Dan at University or the VA....hopefully in the NICU....crossing my fingers on this one.

7. Get a rough draft of a killer essay for my nursing school application.

8. Enjoy a few girls nights out.

9. Get the nerve to express certain feelings I have towards a few people.

I know those are random and very short-term but that's really all I can focus on right now, given the circumstances. And they are all sort of random.

Anywho, I need to work on a little bit more homework....ugh to homework. I really should just keep up on it as I go along but no, I'd rather ignore it until last minute...hahaha.

Friday, April 03, 2009

McCook vs Otero

Well last weekend I posted that I went to McCook and got to play with my new camera and my new telephoto lens. I am LEARNING....these are not meant to be "expert" pictures, I literally just played...and therefore took over 500 pictures for the two innings Marsh pitched and then the five times he was at bat. A few from the night in the dorms (too much fun!) and then some of Austin and Evan pitching. I compiled a few here for you all to see :)

The field at McCook Community College in Nebraska....Home of the Indians

Marshall's feet while warming up

Marshall up at bat

Getting a hit

Marsh in the dorms

Evan....cuddle buddy

"Oh god Dan, they have Schlitz!"

Marshall at the mound

Taking a moment

A pitch

Evan pitching

Austin pitching

If you want to see A LOT more of the pics I took, simply go to facebook :)

Done With A Chapter In My Life

This is has been a post that's been in the works for about a week-and-a-half now but haven't had much time lately and when I do post I haven't wanted to write about it but I want to because a chapter of my life is finally over and I'm ending it. In all ways.

Scott and I are no longer friends. That chapter of my life is completely over. I've moved on, even from trying to keep a friendship with him. I will admit for awhile I was torn between whether I still had feelings for him or whether I was just missing something that had been in my life for such a long time that I wasn't handling the adjustment very well. At times I was lonely and I still cared about Scott. I guess in a way if he decided to be friends ever again I would care for him still but I don't think of him anymore, I don't care about caring about him. I think that's a good thing. I think I had a hard time letting go of being that protective one for him (because well that's what I do for everyone around me).

Tina texted me awhile ago after reading a post and was like "you still have feelings for Scott?!" as she took me looking at my past as me still loving him. I don't. I can guarantee you that. There's nothing left there. But it made me wonder why do I still hold on to parts of that past. Well I've let go. Ok, clarification, I've completely let go since that text. I had let go of what we had been long ago in the sense that I knew it would never be again and he wasn't what he had been at one point but I wasn't handling the adjustment well. So I held onto bits and pieces. I've let them go. And it feels good. I don't let him get into my thoughts anymore (ok other than posting this for the sake of getting out thoughts), I don't care anymore, and if there's something that reminds me of him, rather than let it remind me of him, I find something else to relate it to now.

For instance, gatorade is now associated with lemon-lime and Marshall's baseball games :) Never like Green Day so I just change the songs when they come on if ever. And I have associated Food Network with Shelly and I getting disgusted at weird foods.

I think what finally did the trick was Scott getting jealous again and slamming the door in my face again. I don't try to keep people in my life who don't want or try to be there. And I stop caring for people after a point. Scott told me to do what I wanted and as soon as he found out I was kissing another guy he slammed the door again. Fuck that bullshit. I reached that point. It's done and over.

I was therapeutic the other day and Marshall was glad for me (we were texting at that point). I always keep pictures but I took down any picture in my room that had remnants of Scott and put them in the picture box, threw away old cards and letters, donated the jacket his dad got for me, etc. It felt really good.

It felt freeing :) It really does. I'm no longer censoring this blog. If he wants to read it, then he has to accept the fact that I have moved on and there are others in my life, other events going on in my life, and this is where I pour them out.

So with that another chapter in my life is done and I couldn't be more excited for the next one!!! I have no clue what's in store for me romantically, if there is even anything in the near future, but for now I'm having fun flirting and being myself. And that's all I ever need to be and want to be.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Dreams Maybe Coming Reality

I got fooled today....April Fools jokes....ah I love them. Nothing bad, one of my employees pulled a good one though. She stuck a sticky note over the sensor for the mouse on the bottom so of course I'm crawling under the desk playing with wires and the other employee is laughing her ASS OFF watching me and finally says "Nicole stop, please just stop" and calls Courtney in. Well Courtney lifted up the mouse and on the bottom is a note that says "APRIL FOOL"....hahahaha it was a good one.

My mom sent me an email today that has me all sorts of excited. I am going to take a few weeks off of school after I graduate to just relax and take a breather and settle back into moving in with my parents. However, one of the guys in our church is a doctor and his wife is a nurse. He works at several hospitals including the VA hospital. She sent me an email today saying that he may have an 'in' for me to work as a CNA in the Neonatal ICU at University Hospital.

My career goal is to become a neonatal nurse practitioner to work in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).

This job would be SO incredibly exciting to start off with, especially while applying to nursing school as it's EXACTLY what I want to do!!!

Ok I shouldn't get ahead of myself but it's a very exciting possibility and has me looking at the future just a little bit more optimistically :)

However, motivation to go to school right now is at an all-time low. The sad part is I don't care. If it weren't for me applying to nursing school (which rides on my GPA) I wouldn't care remotely at all about class or getting certain grades....I'm just 'over' this degree persay. I don't care about what I'm learning, I'm bored, I'm not being pushed to do something interesting to me, my professors could care less about me personally excelling.....there's no motivation behind me and I can't find it in myself.

I'll tell you what I AM excited camera. I have the urge all the time anymore to just be out with my camera having some fun and taking pictures....too bad I can't. Maybe this weekend I'll be able to play my brother play ball again or my other brother at a swim meet or the like so that I can keep working on action shots. I need a good hike to work on landscapes and micro.

I'm taking a headshot of my mom tomorrow for my dad (not sure what it's going to be used for) and she also wants me to take some pics of Kevan for graduation announcements or something. I'm not sure. But that's sweet....I can start building up my portfolio :) Maybe even this summer I can start working with a local photographer to learn how to do some editing on photoshop :)

Alright, well I need to get some sleep....I'm off to's been a long day!