Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Silly Nikkie

I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with family these past couple days, most specifically my nephew. He has finally come to remember who I am and associate my name with my face. He now calls me nikkie fairly consistently :) This morning he was calling everyone a silly goose and my aunt said "Is that silly nikkie" and next thing he was smiling a big cheesy grin at me and yelling SILLY NIKKIE at was SO adorable :)

And then he kept grinning at me and laughing/smiling everytime he ran by me and looked at me....the biggest cheesiest grin and it made my heart melt. And then after that it all went matter what I said his answer or response was "no" or "nuh-uh".

Today I got a great workout in...Ty and I went to the rec...I kicked his ass at swimming, he kicked my ass at lifting. I worked on legs/lower body today and walking anywhere is sore, let alone the ridiculous soreness I feel whenever I walk up or down stairs. It feels great though :) I now realize why I became so addicted to working out and the pain that came with it in high school. It stinks but it's a feeling of accomplishment.

My cousin Alyssa has been with me these past couple of days and it's funny talking/listening to her. All the typical 13-year-old comments....such as "i'm so fat" and "i wish i had those sunglasses" and just how important certain things are in your life. Also talking to her about boys has been makes my memories flood back to that age and I wish I could give her all the knowledge I have now so she doesn't make the same mistakes I make. Definitely is another form of birth control though as being a mom to anyone and answering their questions or listening to their thoughts on all this on a daily basis is a lot more than I thought it would day I'll to that point in my life but I'm glad that I'm not there yet!!!

Britt just announced to me she's moving in with her bf Matt....another friend is getting engaged.....I feel like everyone my age is taking a million steps forward, and I feel like I'm taking ten steps back moving in with my parents and not having a job. It's a very weird feeling....everyone says they look up to me and I'm their hero as I'm done with school and applying to nursing school and whatnot....but holy moly, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with my life right now!!!

Anywho, I'm in a really weird mood right now. I'm hardcore missing my home, missing my roommates, and miss having a place that at the end of the day felt comfortable and my own. I didn't realize just how much I missed that until last night when I didn't feel completely comfortable going anywhere that I could go. I want my home back, I want my own bubble that Shelly Britt and I had made back. I want to go into a house and be able to completely relax, be greeted with a smile and enthusiastic conversation and be encouraged to ditch life as we knew it for a couple hours to be consumed in our own little world of roommate conversations or grocery shopping extravaganzas or watching a movie that sounded most important at the time.

I want all my friends within the same town again, where we all met up at the coffee shop for tea lattes, or the student rec for zumba class. I want to ride my bike through town a place where they have bike lanes and are aware of bikers.

I just miss what was my life up until a couple weeks ago. It was what was comfortable and I'm having a hard time transitioning.

Oh well, it will all work itself out with time. Just in a weird mood right now.

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