Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ick. Ish. Wish.

I am a grouch bucket this week. Things have been a little bit too much for me to deal with at work. Basically I'm tired of carrying all the responsibility for myself......AND 17 of my fellow peers who don't know how to take responsibility for their jobs. I can handle myself. But I can't handle babysitting 17 20-something-year-olds who can't seem to show up on time or do their jobs as they are asked to do them. Their jobs don't require I don't understand why I'm having to do it for them.

I now have to give up about every other weekend to work to make sure they A) show up, B) show up on time, C) do their jobs and D) aren't making an ass of themselves to our customers. Isn't that lovely?!?!

I'm a bit peeved if no one can tell by the vehemence that is coming through right now. I'm just pissed about it. I have very little free time....and that free time is my weekends. And now I have to give up my free time (which is used to catch up on sleep and get homework done as well as be used for APO time and the *gasp* me time that I really sorta need) for them. Ick. Ick. Ick.

I've realized that when I'm so mad/sad/frustrated/disappointed I can't really explain how it's making me feel, ick is my word of choice. It goes with everything.


Ok anywho, now that I'm done ranting on that.

Bri and Kenny had their baby girl, Emma. She's beautiful. It was amazing looking at their first family photo. Kenny is beaming, seriously, if he was beaming any more the picture probably wouldn't have turned out. Bri is absolutely beautiful. Motherhood fits her and becomes her very well. I've never seen her look more beautiful or more radiant. And Emma, well Emma is a beautiful baby.

Looking at that picture ignites a flame in my heart. No, not the motherhood "I want a baby" flame.

I want to go into neonatal nursing. It's been my passion for awhile now and I'm working my way there. Every single time I see a picture of a newborn baby, it ignites this flame in my heart. Everytime I see a newborn in a hospital it makes me EXCITED to become race towards my career....nervous but absolutely excited!! It's one of those feelings that allows me to not doubt my choice in career.

If I were getting just my Bachelor's in Nutrition & Fitness, I can honestly say that I would feel my life was a waste something was missing. I don't have a passion or yearning to do anything with this degree. I have noticed it is VERY hard for me to learn as because I'm not interested in it, I don't absorb the material in the slightest. It's funny though that I can recall a lot of what I learned regarding the human body and medical knowledge from several years ago. But I can't tell you even know though I just learned it how biochemistry affects the body and how high-fructose corn syrup is made or any of that.

I absorb any knowledge related to the medical field, particularly to nursing and what I have an interest/passion in. And seeing those pictures just further secured how confidant I am in knowing that unlike this degree, nursing is what is going to be in my future, is one of my life's callings.

Ok, that was a tangent. But CONGRATS!!!! to Bri and Kenny. I'm so very happy for their family :) I just wish I could meet Emma soon. I really do miss Bri and Kenny. It's amazing how when I'm consumed with my life, I forget how amazing it feels to be surrounded by genuine, mature, supportive friends such as them. It's easy to forget they exist when I'm surrounded by the fake, selfish people I interact with every day. Friends like them are hard to come by and I miss that genuine friendship.

One day I will see them again. And now they will have Emma :)

I don't have too much to say for once. I have a ton I feel I need to put down but right now life has been so chaotic that I have no idea what is of interest to pour out. Not to mention I've been ignoring anything that doesn't directly relate to school or work as I don't have time for emotion or adventure right now.

Speaking of adventures though!! I am going down to Colorado Springs this weekend to hang out with some friends I haven't seen in two years!!! Two years.....that's a long time.....but it's gone by so incredibly fast. Man it's amazing how much you miss when you consume your life. I now know how it's so easy to just leave certain friendships gone unkindled for so long. We get too busy, too consumed, too chaotic trying to do everything our society tells us we need to accomplish and do. All to be "successful"....whatever that means.

I can't wait to see their shining faces!! And see the people they have become in the last two years!!

Ok I need to get off to bed. Sleep would be good. I actually was able to do some homework tonight so I need to finish it off with some much needed rest to chip away at my incredible amounts of sleep debt.

Tout a leure (if I remembered how to spell that correctly, in French it means see you later)

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