Dearest Heart

Dearest Heart,

Why are you fretting?! Life is hard at times. You are in a huge transition period of your life. You need to learn to be content with the moment. Yes you have some times that you are content, but you also fret. Don't fret. God has your back.

Remember when you were pouring yourself out to God this morning in the car?! Maybe you should do that more often. Not to self though: when you get me so riled up I'm waving my hands in the air, you cause me to get funny looks from other drivers. It's ok. Just don't get embarrassed when you notice them giving you the "wtf look".

Yes life isn't exactly what you think it should be right now. But I follow your direction. When you fret, I fret. Just remember God's words....that He'll never give you more than you can handle and He will carry you through times when you can't stand on your own. Now is one of those times. "Be still and know that I am God." I think that's what God is trying to teach you right now. I think more than anything you need to remember the majesty that is God and the power that is His love for you.

God has amazing plans for us. He will one day bless your heart with a love so amazing you won't be able to stand it....you'll almost jump out of your pants. Until then, be content with being single. Revel in the wonder that is family and friends and the freedom to go on any adventure you choose. Yes you love to be cuddled and kissed and loved upon, but you don't NEED it. You have never needed it, just craved it. Stop looking for it and God will show you something amazing. Maybe it's Eric, maybe it's not. God will show you in due time. Until then, please just learn to be calm in that area.

And yes, when it comes to family, time will heal wounds. Time IS healing wounds. Time will continue to heal wounds. Just don't take for granted any time spent with them.

Please stop fretting over not being able to see the world. You're crazy enough you'll spontaneously see it little by little. Just get out and go when you need and can. One day, the entire world will be at your hands. Until then, explore what's at hand.

Dear Heart, you are beautiful. Don't doubt it. God made you special. For it is by you that I'm able to function, that I'm able to take direction in life. It is by you that I am able to love others. It is by you that I am who I am and that I can make any sort of impact on the lives of others. It is by you that people love me and know me.

We can do amazing things together. You and I. We WILL do amazing wonderous things together. We have so much love to give to others, and so much to accomplish. We just need to take it one step at a time. Please don't fret. We will be ok.

You are wonderfully and specially crafted. You are strong, but also fragile. So please take care of yourself. You have some band-aids already. God has the most remarkable string and thread but let's face it, sometimes those scars still ache from time to time. Be healthy for yourself. You deserve the world and you will get the world. Please just don't fret. Be patient.

I love you. I can't wait to see what the future has planned for us. Don't be afraid to love, everyone deserves to be loved. Just please also be careful. Love is the greatest thing you have to offer the world. You're good at it!! But also be careful. You are so amazingly special, and you can't doubt that.

The greatest of all things is love. And your genuinity sometimes can be taken for granted but it's a beautiful thing. Please fight building too many walls around you again. I love you being open, careful but open. We're headed for the world!!

Let's keep taking this life by storm.

Loving you deeply,
Nic