Friday, November 21, 2008


Another day, another week in the life.

WOW it's been a busy week for me. But fall break is upon us and I couldn't be more thankful :) It's just a nice little time to relax and have stress at only like 90% instead of the usual 170% or so.

In Nutrition in the Life Cycle this morning we watched a movie about aging and it's effects on society and the psychological effects. As well, as how it affects us as far as chronic disease, keeping functions optimized and so forth. Some people die early in life for all the obvious reasons: accidents, cancer, chronic disease, etc. Some people die later in life for the same reasons or natural reasons but can happen in either of two ways: one in which the person lives an independent life and one in which the person lives a dependent life. Whether that be upon people, machines, medications, accessories, etc.

We live longer and longer with each passing generation (minus biblical times) which in essence is a good thing. We no longer die prematurely due to epidemics, well for the most part. We have the capabilities to address these premature deaths and can prolong life. But at what cost?

For those that live well into their 70's, 80's, 90's and beyond with mental cognition and physical ability, it's a great life. Life can be fulfilling, rewarding, and they don't have the added stress of financial and emotional burden placed upon themselves, family members and other members of society. However for those that lose their mental or physical abilities in any way, it can have a devastating effect. Costing lots of turmoil either emotionally or financially or both upon themselves and others, it's something we need to be aware of.

We are at the threshold of the aging of the baby boomers. In a few years, 20% of our population will be geriatric. That's approximately 70 million people ages 60+. Along with this comes all the problems of aging: vision, hearing, reaction times, ability to speak, mental cognition and function, bodily functions, Alzheimer's, dementia, Parkinson's among a great many other things.

Along with this, more and more families are met with the hardships of broken home, distances in geographics between the elderly and younger generations, and more families having less children (which often times take on the task of helping their parents/grandparents age while in turn raising kids/grandkids). They are called the sandwich generation and it's taking away from their own lives, both in overall health, lifetime expectancy as well as the toll it has on their life at this moment in time.

It makes me realize how precious family is, how important the little things are in life and helps me to remember what really IS important in life. I need this reality check a lot it seems.

But it makes me wonder what challenges I will face as I grow older in life. Will I make decisions that will make my life fuller, longer, and allow me to live with function into my old age? Will I die happy knowing I did what was best? What was right?! So many unknowns, so many concerns.

It's made me realize how much I do care about Scott. We have been spending some time together and he's very important to me, I care about him. Always have. I never thought I would be "that girl" that loves someone but doesn't want to be in a relationship with them despite my feelings. I just have so much going on I possibly can't. I know relationships shouldn't be much added on but for me they are. With where I'm at in life, with so many decisions that need to be made but can't based upon one decision that won't be made for months is crazy. It's stressful. I have no idea where my life is taken me and this one decision I have to wait for will decide the next couple years of my life and it's scary.

With Scott, things are natural but there's still always that distance which is hard and takes a lot of work, a lot of work I just feel I can't take on right now. But watching that video makes me wonder am I putting my life into perspective into life the right way? We have limited time. Am I wasting away something that would make my life so much better than I ever expected?

I know I need to grow. There's a lot on the inside I need to work on. So many things that need to be addressed internally. So many thoughts that need to be dealt with. I just keep asking myself, am I focusing on the wrong things? Am I keeping life in perspective?

When Scott unofficially proposed to me after Betty's death I had the right perspective. It was life is short, life is wonderful and life is meant to have love. I had that. And now life and my head and my heart are sending so many messages to me right now, I wonder.

Oh wow, so many thoughts. So much confusion. So much life. So little time. So much to think about. So much love to give. So much love I want. So many things that need to be worked on. So many things that need to be experienced. So many desires. So many things that need to be enjoyed. So many things.

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