Tonight I'm going to the opera here at the University Center for the Arts on the CSU campus. It's going to be great :) I've never been to an opera. I'm trying to find someone to go to the Colorado Ballet performance of The Nutcracker. I love the Nutcracker music and love ballet and have never seen it so I wanna go!! Too bad the tickets are so expensive. Marc said she'd go with me so hopefully she really will :)
Every time I think I'll have a fairly decent slow week I'm slammed with tons of homework or studying every night. I can't even remember what I've done every day, just know that I've been busy. Ha ha ha.
Medically I'm concerned. I can't get good sleep for the life of me. I go to bed exhausted, wake up exhausted, am borderline narcoleptic right now, my neck and back are in constant pain. On a scale of 1-10 right now it averages 7. Sometimes it's around a 9 or so. I can't hold my back up or neck up too long without "resting" it somehow whether that be sitting against a wall for my back or propping my head on my hand to rest my neck. My body CRAVES how "effortless" it is to lay down with a pillow in between my legs and a pillow under my neck. I don't think that's normal!! Not to mention, I have headaches every night with the sheer exhaustion all the time. I think my thyroid has incredibly slowed down again. Seriously, I feel like that, plus stress might be huge contributing factors.
"Listen to the music of the moment."
Listening to Jason Mraz on pandora.com right now.
Do you ever wonder you could step into the past?! I really do a lot of times. I wish I could go back and watch my life in third person view, I wish I could go back and meet my parents when they were younger. I wish I could go back in time and experience cultures that fascinate me. Like the Victorian age, the Egyptians, the Romans.
I have the huge yearning to travel right now. I would love to go spend every last dime on a plane ticket and an SLR and travel to Europe, starting in England/Ireland and winding up in Italy, taking pictures to my heart's desire and learning to be free. Man oh man if only I really had the guts to do that. Unfortunately I don't.
I have so much in my head right now but none of it I want to say and honestly not a lot of it I can portray in words. Just know I'm working through a lot of things, trying to enjoy the moment though it's increasingly becoming hard to do in the environment of my life, and that I'm working on becoming a better person, trying to discover who I truly am and accept that.
Yeah for the opera tonight. Street Scene. Here we go.