I don't know why again and again I have to be reminded about this: relationships are what matters most. Not getting homework done on time, not my boss nagging me to get this or that done, not always being "on top" of it all, but simply relationships.
We can't take all the time we wasted being responsible with us but we can always have relationships.
Last night Shel and Britt and I spent more time laughing and talking and bullshitting than we did getting our homework done. I personally got almost nothing done. Instead we laughed at Tinks and each other while pounding away at our computers, we gripped over bills and talked about kids and being an aunt. We looked at pictures. Shel and I cooked dinner together and then made fun of Britt for never having dinner wtih us. We waste time making masks for our Masquerade Ball coming up or filling new picture frames with precious photos (ok that's only me but hey I have an obsession!). We make a mess of the kitchen when we cook and leave it for hours while we sit at the table for hours.
I wouldn't trade it for anything. Relationships are what matter, what's important.
Tonight I will leave my homework to be left for tomorrow so I can go and continue to build upon and refresh some very important relationships, at the expense of leaving a ton of homework to crazily try and finish the night before its due. But hey that's how it goes I guess, especially when you are a senior and actually decide to have a life outside of just schoolwork.
To all my family and friends, I promise I'm working at trying to re-establish old relationships, friendships, etc. It will be a long process as I've had a lot of dear friends a long the way that I've just almost completely lost touch with but I promise I am learning to make time. I'm learning I don't have to always be the "most responsible" that I can breathe and relax and enjoy this crazy thing we call life and really learn to enjoy my relationships with others!!
I am a loser at it. I can't say I have a lot of practice with it. I'm awkward. But I'm trying.