Well it's been very interesting so far. I've never broken up with anyone and it's been more trying on me than I thought. But not in the way I expected it.
I have had a sort of peace. I know I'm doing the right thing. God has calmed my heart in many ways. He gave me the strength to get the courage to even go through with it and the strength of mind to be confidant in myself. Today in church he reminded me once again that He is there for me through thick and thin. It was wonderful to go to church and worship and feel His arms around me, protecting me and lifting me up.
But the irony deals with what happened today. When Scott's previous ex broke up with him, she had full on cheated on him for quite some time. He didn't delete her automatically from his life. He kept her email address around, her memorabilia, he still stays in contact with her father. I'm honest with him, true to myself, fair to him and I don't cheat on him and the day after we break up, he is able to delete me completely out of his life 100%. I realize that I may have hurt him and he needs to deal with it but I guess I just find it ironic that the ex who is an asshole stays in his life for some time and the ex who is fairest of all gets cut automatically. It's funny the way that works.
My roommates and I had our Masquerade Ball on friday night and it was great! Well for the most part. I was pretty anti-social but my friends Cord and Kelly showed up and we talked and had a good time. I had a glass of wine then a glass of punch with orange vodka. It helped to calm my nerves but just further enhanced my exhaustion from the day's nerves mixed with the whole three hours of sleep I got the night before.
I am attracted to this guy. And I don't know what to make of it. He has such a positive attitude and positive energy. He's a Christian, which is A-MAZ-ING to me. He's not a douche bag, in fact he's a gentleman. And he's physically attractive. Kelly tells me she thinks he may like me. I like him. We'll see what happens with it.
Kelly and Brian and I are going to the Mill on the 17th. Kelly is a new Christian and Brian has gone to the Mill both at Northern Hills and in Colorado Springs. I want to go down to the Springs to see all of my old friends, so we are roadtripping it. A great way for three friends to get to know each other better and love God!! And play catch up.
Well I'm off to study and work on a group project. Update later.
Love you all, whoever it is that follows my whirlwind life.
P.S. Jesus IS the answer. Jesus is my love. I just thought I'd throw that out there. Whatever God blesses in my life is amazing. Whatever God chooses for my life I will follow. He will never hurt me, He will always love, and He will always be there. He is the way, the truth and the life. And I'm glad to say He's my biggest love.