It's almost midnight and I can't get my mind to shut off.
Today is St. Patrick's Day which I'm sure in most other people's minds is a cause for celebration. Being Irish myself, it's of course just another excuse for every single person to drink and say stereotypical things thinking they are Irish.
However, today is a cause for celebration because it's the first day since nursing school started that I've really had a full day to relax! Granted I still didn't do that, but it was a day to do so.
I was able to sleep in a little bit, had to run an errand to help my brother, and once back home I started organizing a few things and then got to work on some DIY-ing :-) Couldn't help it.
I watched a couple documentaries, broke the washing machine, you know, just the usual things ;-)
I have to work tomorrow and I went to bed awhile ago but unlike usual I find myself tossing and turning more than usual. I can't get my brain to shut off so naturally it goes any and everywhere.
It landed quite heavily upon reflecting at my time at Shalom Home. For our Foundations of Nursing class we had to do a 16-hour clinical that was basically meant to help those who have never before been in a clinical setting or ever taken care of someone the opportunity to get used to touching and talking to other people.
I don't think that going to a long-term care facility where dementia is prevalent is quite the way to do that but we all found ourselves in various long-term care facilities. I willingly chose Shalom Home as it has an underlay of Judaism, and that peaked my curiosity.
But it comes down to the geriatric population is the geriatric population. It's a special population within itself that has a lot of trials and tribulations. Taking care of kids is no easy task but I can say taking care of kids, in my opinion, is easier. The geriatric and pediatric population are similar in some ways. They are both highly dependent on the caregivers, need varying degrees of assistance, need a lot of direction. However, there is still a difference. Kids are naturally smaller and cuter. Kids have a positive energy and hope for a future. Not so much with the geriatric population.
A large majority of the time, those in long-term care are depressed, have dementia, are stubborn or mean, are altered, and are hard to work with. They aren't cute and cuddly like children. And it takes a special sort of patience to interact with patients who repeat the same sentence over-and-over-and-over.
With that being said, there is still a certain amount of humanity that comes in taking care of people. And I sit here reflecting on my time at Shalom, which is preceded by a large foundation of taking care of the geriatric population...from taking care of my dying grandmother, to working home health care, to working in an assisted living facility, including the Alzheimer's unit. There is a certain amount of respect, dignity, humanity, and compassion due each individual, no matter their health state. There is a certain way you treat and care for others.
What I find myself dwelling over are the many instances of things I didn't agree with. Call lights not being answered when the residents need assistance, telling the residents what/when they should be doing things (when that is in fact their home), sometimes imprisoning them in their chairs or beds, attitudes and words used. I reflect on the abuse and neglect that I experienced at the assisted care facility. And I find myself dwelling on how caregivers interact with patients.
I don't know anyone who willingly chooses to have their body and mind deteriorate to the point that they rely on others, sometimes without any form of communication to those who are caring for them. I don't know anyone who willingly wants to suffer in that manner. But I do know that as a caregiver/provider, it is within my power to maintain the sacredness of being human, and of relieving suffering, in many different manners.
To me, it is unacceptable that caregivers forget that these residents were once vibrant young people, like you and I, who independently made their own choices, dressed to the nines, raised families, had careers, hobbies, interests (outside of going to the dining hall). Therefore, when someone is completely reliant upon me, it is my duty to maintain dignity, respect, privacy, and maintain that connection to others.
I don't agree with nursing homes. My parents will never be put in one if it is at all within my power and doing. I can't imagine my parents being treated, neglected, or thought of in the way that a lot of these caregivers treat the residents. In fact, it breaks my heart to think about it.
But it also makes me think, what is in store for my future? My parents have me, a very passionate and compassionate person who is more acutely aware of the healthcare system and long-term care facilities. I don't believe they are at all the answer, in any way shape or form. I will be an advocate until the end for my parents. But what is in store for my future? As someone who has yet to have a desire for children, will there be anyone there in my future to provide for me if I start to lose my physical or mental faculties? Or will they put me in one of these facilities that I so loathingly hate? Or will I have anyone at all, if I never have children?
I hate being in them to take care of others, because of how flawed and awful the system is. I can already tell you one of my worst nightmares would be to wind up in one of them as a resident. Especially with how social and independent I am. And how particular I am about the way healthcare providers take care of others. What is in store for my future? And how can I make an impact in the current system? So many things going through my brain....
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Snapshot
It's hard for me to capture life as a nursing student. It's inexplicable chaos being in the accelerated program. I spend my days trying to figure out what's going on half the time. It's no big deal to have three exams in one week. I spend a significant amount of time going over pwpt's and searching through reems of paper (powerpoints, activities, etc).
But with this week having been so delightful to us, I do have some snapshots of a few moments of relaxation spent out on the grass in the commons area at Regis U. I've been thoroughly enjoying getting to wear flip-flops and the warmth of the sunshine on my face!! Here's a few snapshots I've been able to quickly snap with my camera phone!
But with this week having been so delightful to us, I do have some snapshots of a few moments of relaxation spent out on the grass in the commons area at Regis U. I've been thoroughly enjoying getting to wear flip-flops and the warmth of the sunshine on my face!! Here's a few snapshots I've been able to quickly snap with my camera phone!
Just a snapshot of me actually wearing makeup and my hair done up
(before my brother's wedding)
a day spent studying with J meant some EtOH was involved :-)
mmm Gimlets!
oh how i love that flip-flop weather!!
isn't it bliss to just sit underneath a tree, relax, and look up at this brilliant blue sky?
sure is a nice way to breathe in between exams!
apparently those minnesota-ins aren't used to this weather nor being so close to the sun!
J protecting himself and appearing like he has kyphosis
after a day spent taking 3 exams...WOOT done with that!
Spring 5W2...with a new perspective
Wow, another five weeks almost done and gone!! It's hard to believe that as someone who loves writing, reflecting, and getting my thoughts out, that I haven't really had time to sit down and really think about much, other than the next exam or figuring out what class I need to be in.
This past five weeks has been even crazier than the previous five, though I at first didn't think that was possible. I just finished my Foundations of Nursing Course, and I'm pretty positive I aced it. I'll find out my grade later. Just finished my last test in there so I have to wait for a few class things to be graded.
I have a few more exams this week, but they are all bench-marking exams, called ATI Testing. It's a way for us to find out where we rank in our testing skills to all the other nurses in the nation.
It's all smooth sailing from here.
However, the more I go on in this program, the more and more my perspective is beginning to change. It's very easy for one to get caught up in the rigors of the program and start to alter one's perspective about what is "right" and "wrong" is nursing. What constitutes a "good" or "great" nurse and so-on and so-forth. It's easy to get caught up in what is the evidence-based practice standard of providing care and what is "wrong", etc.
I have realized that though I love the clinical setting, and I love the critical care aspect (and fully plan on being immersed in that sort of nursing for awhile after graduation), that it isn't the only form of nursing out there. I temporarily forgot how huge of a proponent I am of holistic medicine, of the body's ability to heal itself, and of the importance of balance. I temporarily forgot a lot of what I stand for and believe.
(Funny I should mention balance when I'm not exactly practicing that for my own health!)
The more I go on in this program, the easier it is for me to just sit back, relax, and enjoy it and get back to my own beliefs and ideals about health care and providing quality nursing care. I'm becoming better at reconciling what I'm learning now and how it will influence my nursing practice as I go forward.
My classmates are also becoming constant reminders of what I don't care about and what I don't stand for.
Our generation and society is marked by comfort and materialism. Being surrounded by this every day stands as a sharp reminder of things I honestly don't give a shit about.
The majority of my classmates are wrapped up in getting that oh-so-coveted "A", and everything surrounds their grades, and doing a skill "correctly". If we aren't following that, or if something isn't allowing one their "A", it's a constant freak-out and bitch fest.
Now I'm not always the MOST laid-back person though I do pat myself on the back for being able to pretty comfortably flow with the ebbs and detours of life. However, a good grip of my classmates make me feel like I am as peaceful as Ghandi himself (that should be saying something). And as each day, each freak-out, each bitch session comes forward, I am becoming more acutely aware how ridiculous life can be sometimes.
It's so hard to take that seriously when there are much bigger problems happening each and every day around the world. There are children starving domestic and international, there are needless and mindless wars all over the globe, homeless families who simply need a break, people dying of cancer, etc. And there are people around the world who are doing things that are actually making a huge difference, not just in the "gold-standard" way of properly inserting an NG tube into the next patient but people who are fighting for peace, justice, and health. Those who are out there quietly scrapping all means possible to help in areas of public health and injustice to fight the bigger battles of life. People who are donating time, money, and possibly various body tissues to help others. The nurses around the world who are for the young, old, and special needs are the ones who I take seriously.
I don't want to be a nurse who sits in a comfortable hospital and caters to the comfortable health of those here, who simply are having appendectomies. I want to help premature neonates have a chance at a healthful life. I want to work with kids with special needs and cancers who need a quiet strength. I want to work with those around the world who don't have access to the same healthcare we have (where things such as sterile insertion of nasogastric tubes aren't such huge matters....but rather simply getting the proper vaccines is the battle of life and death). That's where I want to be. That's what matters to me.
No patient is ever going to look at me and ask whether I'm a 4.0 nurse, a 3.6 nurse or a 3.0 nurse. They are simply going to know that I've had the proper training, done well enough to get my nursing licensure, and am now there to practice to the best of my abilities. My abilities that include perseverance, hardwork, dedication, caring, humor, strength and compassion. Not my ability to get an A in a class or my ability to memorize every line of information in a book.
So this is where I sit today. I'm getting ready to start the first clinical rotation..med/surg. I'm a little bit anxious and a little bit excited. The sun is shining, I'm wearing my trusty flip-flops, and have a full belly. I have some wonderful people in my life and an excellent God by my side. And that's really all that matters right now. Nursing school is important, and huge for me right now, as it's the foundation for my nursing career. But it's not the only thing that matters, and it's not the end-all of my life right now.
So with that, I'm onto take another exam, and I'm going to crush it ;-)
YAYER!!!
This past five weeks has been even crazier than the previous five, though I at first didn't think that was possible. I just finished my Foundations of Nursing Course, and I'm pretty positive I aced it. I'll find out my grade later. Just finished my last test in there so I have to wait for a few class things to be graded.
I have a few more exams this week, but they are all bench-marking exams, called ATI Testing. It's a way for us to find out where we rank in our testing skills to all the other nurses in the nation.
It's all smooth sailing from here.
However, the more I go on in this program, the more and more my perspective is beginning to change. It's very easy for one to get caught up in the rigors of the program and start to alter one's perspective about what is "right" and "wrong" is nursing. What constitutes a "good" or "great" nurse and so-on and so-forth. It's easy to get caught up in what is the evidence-based practice standard of providing care and what is "wrong", etc.
I have realized that though I love the clinical setting, and I love the critical care aspect (and fully plan on being immersed in that sort of nursing for awhile after graduation), that it isn't the only form of nursing out there. I temporarily forgot how huge of a proponent I am of holistic medicine, of the body's ability to heal itself, and of the importance of balance. I temporarily forgot a lot of what I stand for and believe.
(Funny I should mention balance when I'm not exactly practicing that for my own health!)
The more I go on in this program, the easier it is for me to just sit back, relax, and enjoy it and get back to my own beliefs and ideals about health care and providing quality nursing care. I'm becoming better at reconciling what I'm learning now and how it will influence my nursing practice as I go forward.
My classmates are also becoming constant reminders of what I don't care about and what I don't stand for.
Our generation and society is marked by comfort and materialism. Being surrounded by this every day stands as a sharp reminder of things I honestly don't give a shit about.
The majority of my classmates are wrapped up in getting that oh-so-coveted "A", and everything surrounds their grades, and doing a skill "correctly". If we aren't following that, or if something isn't allowing one their "A", it's a constant freak-out and bitch fest.
Now I'm not always the MOST laid-back person though I do pat myself on the back for being able to pretty comfortably flow with the ebbs and detours of life. However, a good grip of my classmates make me feel like I am as peaceful as Ghandi himself (that should be saying something). And as each day, each freak-out, each bitch session comes forward, I am becoming more acutely aware how ridiculous life can be sometimes.
It's so hard to take that seriously when there are much bigger problems happening each and every day around the world. There are children starving domestic and international, there are needless and mindless wars all over the globe, homeless families who simply need a break, people dying of cancer, etc. And there are people around the world who are doing things that are actually making a huge difference, not just in the "gold-standard" way of properly inserting an NG tube into the next patient but people who are fighting for peace, justice, and health. Those who are out there quietly scrapping all means possible to help in areas of public health and injustice to fight the bigger battles of life. People who are donating time, money, and possibly various body tissues to help others. The nurses around the world who are for the young, old, and special needs are the ones who I take seriously.
I don't want to be a nurse who sits in a comfortable hospital and caters to the comfortable health of those here, who simply are having appendectomies. I want to help premature neonates have a chance at a healthful life. I want to work with kids with special needs and cancers who need a quiet strength. I want to work with those around the world who don't have access to the same healthcare we have (where things such as sterile insertion of nasogastric tubes aren't such huge matters....but rather simply getting the proper vaccines is the battle of life and death). That's where I want to be. That's what matters to me.
No patient is ever going to look at me and ask whether I'm a 4.0 nurse, a 3.6 nurse or a 3.0 nurse. They are simply going to know that I've had the proper training, done well enough to get my nursing licensure, and am now there to practice to the best of my abilities. My abilities that include perseverance, hardwork, dedication, caring, humor, strength and compassion. Not my ability to get an A in a class or my ability to memorize every line of information in a book.
So this is where I sit today. I'm getting ready to start the first clinical rotation..med/surg. I'm a little bit anxious and a little bit excited. The sun is shining, I'm wearing my trusty flip-flops, and have a full belly. I have some wonderful people in my life and an excellent God by my side. And that's really all that matters right now. Nursing school is important, and huge for me right now, as it's the foundation for my nursing career. But it's not the only thing that matters, and it's not the end-all of my life right now.
So with that, I'm onto take another exam, and I'm going to crush it ;-)
YAYER!!!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Spring 5W1 Complete!!
The accelerated program is split up like this: 3 15-week intervals. Within each interval, it is split up into 3 5-week intervals. Hence we have a spring, summer and fall interval. Within each interval we have a 5W1, 5W2, 5W3. I'm happy to report Spring 5W1 is complete!! And yes that means I have successfully finished 1 class while 2 others are currently in progress (I'll finish those in 3 weeks) and am getting read to switch over to another class.
The first class: Health Assessment. Where we learn how to professional inspect, grope, and violate others ;-) Actually it's really not that bad but surely you can't be too shy to be a nurse. When daily conversations revolve around bowel and urination...
and we are eager to get our patients naked (HA jk) to inspect and palpate them, shyness can't really be too incredibly strong in any of us. In fact, our 3rd day of class we had to strip down to our bras and shorts in order to do skin assessments!! Health Assessment was in fact a fun class though, learning fun things such as how to listen to heart and lungs, what skin "normalities" should be, and hence what "abnormal" would be. We got to look at, grope, at slightly laugh at each other. And all in all, the superficialness of the world is stripped away and the support of each other really came out. You can never have true support until all 50 people have seen you walk around in class in your bra, until you've groped your professor, and until your professor has groped you. Talk about patient empathy!! But alas I got an A in the class!!
Pharmacology is coming along...mostly well. I spend most of my time very lost in that class but luckily have some great classmates who help me figure out what's going on. However, most of the time I find myself writing random shit on my notes like this one! The professor referred to a dingo and in popped this quote...totally had to send it to a friend!!
And of course, coffee is absolutely necessary. I am now getting up early enough every morning to shower, make coffee (in a normal coffee pot nonetheless, no more Keurig...), make myself breakfast (gasp!) and get in some studying...all before leaving for class at 7:45am. Who would have thunk I'd become so productive!! However, I am the oldest 24yo I know. I go to bed no later than 10pm every night. I know, I know. I just can't handle it!! A glass of wine almost every night is also usually a necessity!!
Other than that, I'm living the high life! I really don't know what I mean by that. Life is nothing but school. But one class down, wahoo!!
Foundations is the next class. It's where we learn patient bedside care, which is basically what I do every single day at work anyway. But then later on we also get to learn IV's, catheter's, and NG tubes. All the fun stuff :-)
Here we go for another crazy five weeks!! Only ten more weeks until our first break...giddyup!
The first class: Health Assessment. Where we learn how to professional inspect, grope, and violate others ;-) Actually it's really not that bad but surely you can't be too shy to be a nurse. When daily conversations revolve around bowel and urination...
and we are eager to get our patients naked (HA jk) to inspect and palpate them, shyness can't really be too incredibly strong in any of us. In fact, our 3rd day of class we had to strip down to our bras and shorts in order to do skin assessments!! Health Assessment was in fact a fun class though, learning fun things such as how to listen to heart and lungs, what skin "normalities" should be, and hence what "abnormal" would be. We got to look at, grope, at slightly laugh at each other. And all in all, the superficialness of the world is stripped away and the support of each other really came out. You can never have true support until all 50 people have seen you walk around in class in your bra, until you've groped your professor, and until your professor has groped you. Talk about patient empathy!! But alas I got an A in the class!!
Foundations is the next class. It's where we learn patient bedside care, which is basically what I do every single day at work anyway. But then later on we also get to learn IV's, catheter's, and NG tubes. All the fun stuff :-)
Here we go for another crazy five weeks!! Only ten more weeks until our first break...giddyup!
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Nursing Community
The community that has become us student nurses is wonderful, and to the outside eye probably a little disturbing. We spend so much time together, knees deep in "personal" material that support doesn't become optional, it's mandatory.
In this accelerated program, it's many times the blind-leading-the-blind. We have no idea what's going half the time and things change each week to the next. We figure out what's going on, but we do it in a group effort.
I know my classmates sex lives, their bowel movement schedule, abnormalities of their testicles, alcohol consumption, personal hygiene habits...and we all collectively share a huge lack of sleep.
It's a community unique all in its own. We have inside jokes and pick each other up when one falls behind. It's not a competition to finish first, it's a team effort to help each other cross the finish line.
Isn't that lovely?!?!
But you really know you are around your classmates all day when you hear from the stall next door: "Nicole, this is Erica. I need some toilet paper." You then hand it to her and proceed to have a conversation while urinating, buckling your belt, and walking out of the stall....only to engage in conversation with another classmate while in the bathroom.
It's amazing. And because no one else understands what we're going through, I'm glad I have my classmates :-)
In this accelerated program, it's many times the blind-leading-the-blind. We have no idea what's going half the time and things change each week to the next. We figure out what's going on, but we do it in a group effort.
I know my classmates sex lives, their bowel movement schedule, abnormalities of their testicles, alcohol consumption, personal hygiene habits...and we all collectively share a huge lack of sleep.
It's a community unique all in its own. We have inside jokes and pick each other up when one falls behind. It's not a competition to finish first, it's a team effort to help each other cross the finish line.
Isn't that lovely?!?!
But you really know you are around your classmates all day when you hear from the stall next door: "Nicole, this is Erica. I need some toilet paper." You then hand it to her and proceed to have a conversation while urinating, buckling your belt, and walking out of the stall....only to engage in conversation with another classmate while in the bathroom.
It's amazing. And because no one else understands what we're going through, I'm glad I have my classmates :-)
Monday, February 06, 2012
IV's
There are many ways in which the Lord has blessed my road to get where I'm at. I think that unlike others, my path to nursing was delayed/altered because the Lord understood what would work best for me. These past nine months working at DH have been instrumental in helping me to understand a lot of what they are saying in class, to grasp concepts a little better because I'm immersed in the culture and system already of the hospital. Had I not had this experience, I feel that I would be floundering right now.
Yesterday was a great case in point, however, of the opportunities that I get that help me to be successful in my program. In pharmacology we are currently learning antibiotics, anti-fungals, anti-mycobacterials, and anti-infectives. Of course, being the case I was trying to hunt down patients being administered antibx to quiz myself. As well, I started asking the two nurses I was working with about IV's. More specifically inserting an IV, etc.
DH is a teaching hospital, that is great about helping to teach others, each other, and the patient. Therefore they both looked at me and said "let's do it, you can do it right now!" Upon my protests, their response was that we didn't have much to do (in fact we really didn't, we had one patient and were awaiting two patients being transferred to the floor).
So there I sat, IV tray in hand, with them walking me through how to insert IV's!!
Needless to say, it was scary and frightening all at the same time, as one day soon I'm going to be doing that exact thing in clinicals on a real patient! But it was so exciting to get to learn it and have two willing and excited nurses wanting to help coach me and teach me!! I loved it!!
Definitely helps me to feel more prepared for when we start learning IV's in foundations. Now I just need to learn about catheters a little bit more ;-)
Yesterday was a great case in point, however, of the opportunities that I get that help me to be successful in my program. In pharmacology we are currently learning antibiotics, anti-fungals, anti-mycobacterials, and anti-infectives. Of course, being the case I was trying to hunt down patients being administered antibx to quiz myself. As well, I started asking the two nurses I was working with about IV's. More specifically inserting an IV, etc.
DH is a teaching hospital, that is great about helping to teach others, each other, and the patient. Therefore they both looked at me and said "let's do it, you can do it right now!" Upon my protests, their response was that we didn't have much to do (in fact we really didn't, we had one patient and were awaiting two patients being transferred to the floor).
So there I sat, IV tray in hand, with them walking me through how to insert IV's!!
Needless to say, it was scary and frightening all at the same time, as one day soon I'm going to be doing that exact thing in clinicals on a real patient! But it was so exciting to get to learn it and have two willing and excited nurses wanting to help coach me and teach me!! I loved it!!
Definitely helps me to feel more prepared for when we start learning IV's in foundations. Now I just need to learn about catheters a little bit more ;-)
Friday, February 03, 2012
Weeding out Happiness
One of my schroomies and I were talking about simplicity. Life is complexly simple a great majority of the time. And I think, especially as Americans, we have a tendency to emphasize the complexity instead of the simplicity.
I realize that on one hand, my life can't and won't be "simple" for a little while. But that doesn't mean I can't weed out the boldly complex.
One of the things that I value in life is happiness. And enjoyment. I think when we keep continually adding stuff into our lives, happiness can be weighed down. There's a lot to be said about simplicity.
I have been watching a documentary the past hour entitled "Enlighten Up!" Basically it's about a new yogi and his quest for understanding yoga and all that comes with it. He has a hard time grasping the "formation" that yogis always talk about and the spirituality that comes with yoga. He is visiting a yoga guru in India who is explaining to him what yoga really means. You see in India, yoga isn't about the physical aspect that we associate it here in the west. It's about connecting with God or if you don't believe in God, your true self. The guru at one point mentions that we need to strip our lives of the outerness that makes us unhappy.
I'm sensing a little bit of a theme.
One of my goals this next year is to start simplifying my life. Getting rid of the possessions and things I own that don't make me happy or don't mean anything to me. I want to start simplifying my life. I started by simplifying down my closet at home. Now I need to start simplifying everything else.
Hopefully as the year goes on, I will continue to update about this journey. Let's see what this adventure will bring....
I realize that on one hand, my life can't and won't be "simple" for a little while. But that doesn't mean I can't weed out the boldly complex.
One of the things that I value in life is happiness. And enjoyment. I think when we keep continually adding stuff into our lives, happiness can be weighed down. There's a lot to be said about simplicity.
I have been watching a documentary the past hour entitled "Enlighten Up!" Basically it's about a new yogi and his quest for understanding yoga and all that comes with it. He has a hard time grasping the "formation" that yogis always talk about and the spirituality that comes with yoga. He is visiting a yoga guru in India who is explaining to him what yoga really means. You see in India, yoga isn't about the physical aspect that we associate it here in the west. It's about connecting with God or if you don't believe in God, your true self. The guru at one point mentions that we need to strip our lives of the outerness that makes us unhappy.
I'm sensing a little bit of a theme.
One of my goals this next year is to start simplifying my life. Getting rid of the possessions and things I own that don't make me happy or don't mean anything to me. I want to start simplifying my life. I started by simplifying down my closet at home. Now I need to start simplifying everything else.
Hopefully as the year goes on, I will continue to update about this journey. Let's see what this adventure will bring....
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Time Alottment
I've quickly learned that free time is few and far in between...but it is possible. However, every hour of every day is accounted for, my to-do lists and my planner are my sanity, and breathing techniques are really quite powerful tools!!
Today was the second exam of nursing school. True to form, I had a huge anxiety attack before our my first one last week. It's hard not to when you don't know what to expect and your future is "reliant" upon this exact exam. Ok ok, so that's really dramatic but that's how it felt before that first exam, knowing that I'm finally going towards something I care about, that my future resides on. And of course, I walked out with a 95% in the bag. Silly goose!!
Today was the second exam of nursing school. True to form, I had a huge anxiety attack before our my first one last week. It's hard not to when you don't know what to expect and your future is "reliant" upon this exact exam. Ok ok, so that's really dramatic but that's how it felt before that first exam, knowing that I'm finally going towards something I care about, that my future resides on. And of course, I walked out with a 95% in the bag. Silly goose!!
My first exam grade!! That's right, important enough to take a camera pic of it :-)
I walked out of my second exam with a 98% in hand. I know my exams will get harder but I'm pretty impressed and proud of myself currently!! The studying is actually paying off!!
Like I was saying though, every hour of every day is accounted for, and I've never been so organized, yet so disorganized before in my life. Life is a pure and simple beautiful chaos of craziness right now with no hopes of slowing down anytime in the next few weeks. I have a planner to keep my time organized, a "to-do" pocket notebook to make sure I can keep my brain from forgetting too many things. And a calendar in my phone for highly important events with reminders (for those things that I know I'll probably forget but HAVE to remember).
But the program is pretty good so far. I'm learning more how to relax and enjoy it rather than get frazzled by it. While some of the students know everything and are true "go-getter-em-all", I'm not that way and I'm very realistic about my expectations. I know I'm a slow learner. I know that no matter how many times I've learned the route of the flow through the heart, I simply can't memorize it. I'm aware that I'm a pretty horrible test-taker most of the time and get bad test anxiety. I know that I can't double-guess my answers without negative reprocussions. I know that I can't realistically can't memorize drug names as fast as other students (my brain just is not THAT detailed oriented). I know that I'm always a step behind in reading. I'm very realistic and because of it, I know my limitations and can therefore push myself yet enjoy myself as well. This is a journey that is meant to be reveled in, as much as possible, and not let it get the best of me. And that's what I'm going to do!! Even in those moments that I'm so completely frazzled!!
There are also some ironies. Like having downed a half a pot of coffee and studying laxatives...
The next week of my life is pretty planned out, full of nothing but school and studying...tis my life, but it's enjoyable and fun, at least in my opinion currently :-)
I found a quiet and peaceful studying nook in the library with a great view of Main Hall. And it's obviously peeking out from the clock that resides over the main of the campus. Quite lovely!! Even on an oddly dreary afternoon spent studying for pharm.
My desk is my usual study spot, and hence the place of attempted organization! A calendar with the major due dates color coded, my class schedule for the 1st 5 wk session, my stethoscope, my little Ethie presiding over, the library and fitness center hours, and of course my other miscellaneous planners, to-do notebooks, and my handy-dandy study aids!! (Complete with hydration of course)
Studying...as usual :-) And now this girl is ready for bed!!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Nursing School 101: Go With The Flow
The first two weeks of nursing school are almost done! In a program that is a mere 43 weeks long, that's pretty impressive. The last two weeks have gone by in a huge blur (ie way too fast) and yet they have also been incredibly long. The fast part is simply not having enough time to do everything I need AND want to do, the fast part is the sheer craziness that has been compacted into such a short amount of time.
Week 1: Started with an insane last-minute Broncos game (BOOM click here) with my roommates that was just utterly insane!! Not to mention a fabulous omen to the start of this program :-) I got injections the whole week and donated bone marrow on friday morning (donation day), which was incredibly awesome. My minigrams passed away and I was able to be there for her death, which was an incredible and intimate experience I'm glad to have had before experiencing death in the clinical setting. And along with everything else, I started this program that has with its craziness brought on a whole new lifestyle, environment, support system, and schedule. If that wasn't enough chaos for one week, I'm not sure what else would have done it!
Week 2: The program is even more chaotic. I'm almost positive that in these two weeks I have studied more than all of my senior year of college combined. And I'm not exaggerating. The chaos hasn't calmed down, rather it's just beginning. While I'm not dealing with injections, bone marrow donation, or the death of a family member, the chaos of school has only gotten worse. Our program is awesome and apparently effective with the number of students that come through it. But that's not saying it's the most organized program ever. And there's not much hand-holding. In fact, most of us are having to figure out what's going on by the help of other students. There's just way too much that the professors don't tell us that we find out via our support system of each other. But it's been wonderful!!
My first big exam is tomorrow. And do you think I'm studying?! Well I have studied a little bit today but I'm putting off the mass final overview. Hence why I'm here writing :-) I'm nervous but I feel like I sort of understand this stuff. But tomorrow we'll find out for sure.
I'm learning with this program that:
A) My life is completely in their hands...my schedule including sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom is determined by this program
B) I'm not going to ever fully know what's going on. There's just way too much we're learning!
C) Just go with the flow baby. It will all work out somehow, as long as I try my best!
Welp I guess it's back to the books for me. Life is chaotic but pretty amazing, as the possibilities are boundless right now. It's the beginning of another crazy journey of my life! And here I am with stethoscope in hand ;-)
Week 1: Started with an insane last-minute Broncos game (BOOM click here) with my roommates that was just utterly insane!! Not to mention a fabulous omen to the start of this program :-) I got injections the whole week and donated bone marrow on friday morning (donation day), which was incredibly awesome. My minigrams passed away and I was able to be there for her death, which was an incredible and intimate experience I'm glad to have had before experiencing death in the clinical setting. And along with everything else, I started this program that has with its craziness brought on a whole new lifestyle, environment, support system, and schedule. If that wasn't enough chaos for one week, I'm not sure what else would have done it!
Week 2: The program is even more chaotic. I'm almost positive that in these two weeks I have studied more than all of my senior year of college combined. And I'm not exaggerating. The chaos hasn't calmed down, rather it's just beginning. While I'm not dealing with injections, bone marrow donation, or the death of a family member, the chaos of school has only gotten worse. Our program is awesome and apparently effective with the number of students that come through it. But that's not saying it's the most organized program ever. And there's not much hand-holding. In fact, most of us are having to figure out what's going on by the help of other students. There's just way too much that the professors don't tell us that we find out via our support system of each other. But it's been wonderful!!
My first big exam is tomorrow. And do you think I'm studying?! Well I have studied a little bit today but I'm putting off the mass final overview. Hence why I'm here writing :-) I'm nervous but I feel like I sort of understand this stuff. But tomorrow we'll find out for sure.
I'm learning with this program that:
A) My life is completely in their hands...my schedule including sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom is determined by this program
B) I'm not going to ever fully know what's going on. There's just way too much we're learning!
C) Just go with the flow baby. It will all work out somehow, as long as I try my best!
Welp I guess it's back to the books for me. Life is chaotic but pretty amazing, as the possibilities are boundless right now. It's the beginning of another crazy journey of my life! And here I am with stethoscope in hand ;-)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Donation Day
Today was donation day!!
I got to the infusion center at PSL @ 0645, and was greeted with a flurry of medical personnel. First the doc came in to assess that I was indeed healthy and who I said I was. Then the medical techs started priming the machine and my veins. Rhonda and Sarah were absolute sweethearts! Melissa my RN was sweet as pie. They explained every step, walked me through each action, encouraged me, and made me as comfortable as possible.
The 5th injection was given and about 45 minutes later I was starting to get hooked up to the machine. An IV was started in my R arm, where the return line was also hooked up to. Melissa, the RN, gave me a little adavan upon request to help calm me down for the stick in my L arm. Once we were ready, I was stuck with the needle in my L arm that would take my blood from my body, through the filter (centrifuge) and run the blood back into the line via my R arm.
They filtered 22 liters of blood, to produce a half bag of rich blood full of platelets, WBC's, stem cells, mast cells, and all the other components that my recipient needed.
After five hours of keeping my L arm still, the procedure was done and the bag was whisked away, where it hopped on a plane about an hour ago to go somewhere in the US to my recipient. I know only that she is domestic, an adult female with acute leukemia.
Now I'm at home, completely exhausted, sore, my bones still quite achy, a little light-headed from having my body not only go through the procedure but also having my own HCT, platelet and RBC count drop! It was all well worth it :-)
I got to the infusion center at PSL @ 0645, and was greeted with a flurry of medical personnel. First the doc came in to assess that I was indeed healthy and who I said I was. Then the medical techs started priming the machine and my veins. Rhonda and Sarah were absolute sweethearts! Melissa my RN was sweet as pie. They explained every step, walked me through each action, encouraged me, and made me as comfortable as possible.
The 5th injection was given and about 45 minutes later I was starting to get hooked up to the machine. An IV was started in my R arm, where the return line was also hooked up to. Melissa, the RN, gave me a little adavan upon request to help calm me down for the stick in my L arm. Once we were ready, I was stuck with the needle in my L arm that would take my blood from my body, through the filter (centrifuge) and run the blood back into the line via my R arm.
They filtered 22 liters of blood, to produce a half bag of rich blood full of platelets, WBC's, stem cells, mast cells, and all the other components that my recipient needed.
After five hours of keeping my L arm still, the procedure was done and the bag was whisked away, where it hopped on a plane about an hour ago to go somewhere in the US to my recipient. I know only that she is domestic, an adult female with acute leukemia.
Now I'm at home, completely exhausted, sore, my bones still quite achy, a little light-headed from having my body not only go through the procedure but also having my own HCT, platelet and RBC count drop! It was all well worth it :-)
At 24 I still need my mama!!
All hooked up to the "circuit"...my L arm was covered to keep the veins warm
the machine
the bag filling up during the 5-hr procedure
me with the bag before it got whisked off to go to the recipient tomorrow morning!!
You can be the match!!
Thank you to those at the National Bone Marrow Registry and the staff at the Infusion Center at Presbyterian St. Luke's who were so wonderful, caring, and compassionate during the whole process!! :-)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
With Her Last Breathe
This first week of nursing school has been so insane for a variety of reasons. So much going on, packed into a very small amount of time, and so many big things! School has started off wonderfully. I'm not used to sitting in lecture for so long every day, but I am enjoying my professors and how real they are. In my first degree, a lot of the professors were people above me. My professors now are people who are well aware that soon we will call ourselves colleagues. Quite refreshing! The program is a little disorganized but at least it's a semi-organized chaos!
My injections for my donation have been going wonderfully. I don't mind getting poked in the belly I've found out. But these injections are making me incredibly sore! Tonight has by far been the worst. I just feel like I've been railroaded super hardcore; everything is achy and my body is just exhausted in a sense right now. I can't get comfortable to save my life and my lower back is throbbing/radiating pain. But even with this discomfort it still doesn't match what my donee has been going through and the prep she's going through to get ready for this donation. Tomorrow, I'm not so much looking forward to the big needle in my arm but it's still a small discomfort in relation to what my donee's going through. I believe all will be well!!
Bugs. Roommate freaking out and moving out because of bugs. That's been another crazy aspect.
Lastly, minigrams passed away last night.
She slipped into a comatose state Sunday evening. We knew it was coming, the end stages of ESLD, but mom didn't tell me when it happened as first day of class was Monday morning. I didn't go Monday evening due to my chaotic schedule. Tuesday evening I went over to be there for my mom. Wednesday I was expecting to hear grams had passed but was shocked when mom said she was still hanging on. Mom told me grams had what's known as the "death rattle" and that it was rather unpleasant but if I wanted to come she would really appreciate the support. So I went and sat with them.
Upon walking in the room, hearing the death rattle for the first time was a little unarming. The sound was comparable to an engine refusing to turn over. Grams breathing was quite labored and forced, the sounds from her lungs was excruciating loud for the room, her heart rate was quite brisk at 145 bpm, and her respirations were 45 breaths/min. Her body was quite dehydrated, having been in that state for 3 days and her body was on fire. At first I encouraged her to go if it was her time and we stayed out of her room. But upon returning like I had promised her I would with some coffee, I had the sense that she was fighting so hard simply because she was scared to die. She was a tiny woman in life, quite frightened of the world in many aspects. And honestly, I wouldn't want to die alone either. So I took her hand in mind and started keeping post.
As the nurses came in, they knew I was in nursing school and would tell me what they were doing. They gave her some medications intended to dry out the secretions in the lung that would make it less laborous for her to breathe, and some morphine, for any pain. The second round of medicines they gave, as they were administered IV, you could literally see, hear, and feel them take effect as grams body started to relax and her breathing became less laborous, the sound from her lungs more quiet, and her body more relaxed.
Nearing the evening, my brother Marshall came to say his last goodbyes. On his way over, I started to become a little more concerned he wouldn't make it in time as I could hear her breaths getting more shallow and relaxed and heard her respiration rate decrease. As soon as Marshall came in the room I let him take her hand and as soon as he started talking, her breathing became more laborous. She knew it was Marshall. After a few minutes her breathing again began to relax and calm down. A half hour later, I could tell we were nearing the end. Her respirations had decreased to around 22, her heart rate had dropped from the 140's to the low 120's, and the interval between breaths went from being consistent to varying. I told my mom, brother, and uncle (who were all in the room) that the end was near and if they were comfortable, it would be beneficial for both them for closure and for grams to feel the touch of loved ones, in the very last intimate moments of life.
Less than a half hour later she took her last breaths. It was very peaceful, very calm, and very intimate as we sat there and embraced her hands and arms while she went from this world and into the arms of Jesus. With her hand in both of mine, I was able to monitor her heart beat and got to feel the last pump of her heart before her spirit was gone. In a sheer instant, she went from her earthly body to her spiritual body. And what a blessing and honor it was to be there. To comfort and love her in her last moments, to support my mother and walk my family through the dying process, and to experience such a precious moment in time that not many people get to witness very often.
Now I'm heading to bed, in preparation for my donation tomorrow, in hopes that I can give a second chance at life to a woman who needs it. How blessed am I for all the events that have transpired this week?! Truly blessed indeed.
My injections for my donation have been going wonderfully. I don't mind getting poked in the belly I've found out. But these injections are making me incredibly sore! Tonight has by far been the worst. I just feel like I've been railroaded super hardcore; everything is achy and my body is just exhausted in a sense right now. I can't get comfortable to save my life and my lower back is throbbing/radiating pain. But even with this discomfort it still doesn't match what my donee has been going through and the prep she's going through to get ready for this donation. Tomorrow, I'm not so much looking forward to the big needle in my arm but it's still a small discomfort in relation to what my donee's going through. I believe all will be well!!
Bugs. Roommate freaking out and moving out because of bugs. That's been another crazy aspect.
Lastly, minigrams passed away last night.
She slipped into a comatose state Sunday evening. We knew it was coming, the end stages of ESLD, but mom didn't tell me when it happened as first day of class was Monday morning. I didn't go Monday evening due to my chaotic schedule. Tuesday evening I went over to be there for my mom. Wednesday I was expecting to hear grams had passed but was shocked when mom said she was still hanging on. Mom told me grams had what's known as the "death rattle" and that it was rather unpleasant but if I wanted to come she would really appreciate the support. So I went and sat with them.
Upon walking in the room, hearing the death rattle for the first time was a little unarming. The sound was comparable to an engine refusing to turn over. Grams breathing was quite labored and forced, the sounds from her lungs was excruciating loud for the room, her heart rate was quite brisk at 145 bpm, and her respirations were 45 breaths/min. Her body was quite dehydrated, having been in that state for 3 days and her body was on fire. At first I encouraged her to go if it was her time and we stayed out of her room. But upon returning like I had promised her I would with some coffee, I had the sense that she was fighting so hard simply because she was scared to die. She was a tiny woman in life, quite frightened of the world in many aspects. And honestly, I wouldn't want to die alone either. So I took her hand in mind and started keeping post.
As the nurses came in, they knew I was in nursing school and would tell me what they were doing. They gave her some medications intended to dry out the secretions in the lung that would make it less laborous for her to breathe, and some morphine, for any pain. The second round of medicines they gave, as they were administered IV, you could literally see, hear, and feel them take effect as grams body started to relax and her breathing became less laborous, the sound from her lungs more quiet, and her body more relaxed.
Nearing the evening, my brother Marshall came to say his last goodbyes. On his way over, I started to become a little more concerned he wouldn't make it in time as I could hear her breaths getting more shallow and relaxed and heard her respiration rate decrease. As soon as Marshall came in the room I let him take her hand and as soon as he started talking, her breathing became more laborous. She knew it was Marshall. After a few minutes her breathing again began to relax and calm down. A half hour later, I could tell we were nearing the end. Her respirations had decreased to around 22, her heart rate had dropped from the 140's to the low 120's, and the interval between breaths went from being consistent to varying. I told my mom, brother, and uncle (who were all in the room) that the end was near and if they were comfortable, it would be beneficial for both them for closure and for grams to feel the touch of loved ones, in the very last intimate moments of life.
Less than a half hour later she took her last breaths. It was very peaceful, very calm, and very intimate as we sat there and embraced her hands and arms while she went from this world and into the arms of Jesus. With her hand in both of mine, I was able to monitor her heart beat and got to feel the last pump of her heart before her spirit was gone. In a sheer instant, she went from her earthly body to her spiritual body. And what a blessing and honor it was to be there. To comfort and love her in her last moments, to support my mother and walk my family through the dying process, and to experience such a precious moment in time that not many people get to witness very often.
Now I'm heading to bed, in preparation for my donation tomorrow, in hopes that I can give a second chance at life to a woman who needs it. How blessed am I for all the events that have transpired this week?! Truly blessed indeed.
Monday, January 09, 2012
BOOM! Starting Nursing School!!
What a way to start nursing school!!
Today was the first day of class. Seven hours spent listening to lectures on health assessment and pharmacology. Not too shabby. My professors are hilarious, supportive, and my classmates are hysterical!!
However, that's not what makes the start of nursing school so great. What is you ask?!
$30 tickets.
To the Broncos game.
For lower level seats.
Section 127. Row 18. Seat 3.
So being the only one of my roommates and that's from Colorado, I said we needed to find a place to watch the game yesterday. As we don't have cable here yet. One of my roommates threw out the suggestion that we should try to go and get tickets after the start of the 1st quarter. So we did just that. We got there, parked for free (hells yeah!) and found a scalper. His friend wanted to sell the tickets for $75/each. However, we said we only had $30 and this one scalper said sure, and once he saw our skepticism (ESPECIALLY after I saw where the seats were), he agreed to walk us all the way to the gate to see that we got in. With a ton of hesitance, sure enough, we got in. HOORAY!! We excitedly hurried to our seats.....only to find there were already people in them. We explained to the guys in the seats the dilemma and next thing I know guest relations was there to escort us all back to the ticket office.
Crap.
We sat there for a little bit as there was a line (apparently this isn't a new thing at the stadium). After 10 minutes the PO had us all explain what happened. We all had bought tickets off a scalper outside of the stadium. He took all of our drivers' licenses and then separated us off into our separate groups. After a minute he beckoned us over. Double crap.
"Your tickets are legit!"
Dude, for realz?! We went and got beers, took our seats and proceeded to watch a playoff game on the lower level for $30/each. The game went to OT. Broncos scored a sudden death TD...Tebow threw a 80yd TD to Demetrius Thomas FTW!!! OH HELL YEAH!!!
Can you believe that?!??!?!?!?! WHAT A FLIPPIN COOL WAY TO START THE YEAR!!!
Today brought seven hours of lecture, a call informing me grams is now in a coma, a call informing me we have bugs (unknown kind) in our new place, and I got my first injection for bone marrow donation!! What a day.
Now I'm working on homework. Not right now obviously. Taking a break to blog before it gets too crazy hectic this week. And back to homework I go!!
Today was the first day of class. Seven hours spent listening to lectures on health assessment and pharmacology. Not too shabby. My professors are hilarious, supportive, and my classmates are hysterical!!
However, that's not what makes the start of nursing school so great. What is you ask?!
$30 tickets.
To the Broncos game.
For lower level seats.
Section 127. Row 18. Seat 3.
So being the only one of my roommates and that's from Colorado, I said we needed to find a place to watch the game yesterday. As we don't have cable here yet. One of my roommates threw out the suggestion that we should try to go and get tickets after the start of the 1st quarter. So we did just that. We got there, parked for free (hells yeah!) and found a scalper. His friend wanted to sell the tickets for $75/each. However, we said we only had $30 and this one scalper said sure, and once he saw our skepticism (ESPECIALLY after I saw where the seats were), he agreed to walk us all the way to the gate to see that we got in. With a ton of hesitance, sure enough, we got in. HOORAY!! We excitedly hurried to our seats.....only to find there were already people in them. We explained to the guys in the seats the dilemma and next thing I know guest relations was there to escort us all back to the ticket office.
Crap.
We sat there for a little bit as there was a line (apparently this isn't a new thing at the stadium). After 10 minutes the PO had us all explain what happened. We all had bought tickets off a scalper outside of the stadium. He took all of our drivers' licenses and then separated us off into our separate groups. After a minute he beckoned us over. Double crap.
"Your tickets are legit!"
Dude, for realz?! We went and got beers, took our seats and proceeded to watch a playoff game on the lower level for $30/each. The game went to OT. Broncos scored a sudden death TD...Tebow threw a 80yd TD to Demetrius Thomas FTW!!! OH HELL YEAH!!!
Can you believe that?!??!?!?!?! WHAT A FLIPPIN COOL WAY TO START THE YEAR!!!
Today brought seven hours of lecture, a call informing me grams is now in a coma, a call informing me we have bugs (unknown kind) in our new place, and I got my first injection for bone marrow donation!! What a day.
Now I'm working on homework. Not right now obviously. Taking a break to blog before it gets too crazy hectic this week. And back to homework I go!!
Friday, January 06, 2012
Nursing Orientation
The past couple of days have been incredibly busy and full of stuff! Yesterday was the "big moving day". I made the decision to move into a place close to RegisU with three other accelerated nursing students. For many reasons...transportation costs, transportation time, and I just needed the stability of a place where I can guarantee when I come it's a space that I can relax, study, and get done all of the things that I need to get done. All of the other three are from out of state...Idaho, Oregon, Washington. We've all lived together less than 24 hours but so far so good...as time goes we might even learn that we don't need to dance around one another so much! ;-)
This morning was nursing orientation. Four hours filled with even more stress of talking about how crazy and rigorous and insane the program is going to be, of hearing people chit-chat about various things, and even more anxiety about starting this program on Monday. The next year of my life is practically written in stone. On the stone it reads "Nicole A Carr: Accelerated Nursing Student (aka that's all she's doing) 2012-2012." However, it was reassuring that the professors all recognize the rigors of the program, are incredibly supportive of us, and are just as excited as we are to start yet another crazy year.
I lost my phone about a week ago...and I got the new iphone 4S today. That's my newest struggle on top of everything else. At least I have a communicative device. An expensive costly little thing but eh, apparently that's what all that overtime was for.
So for now I am super stressed, but I'm trying to relax myself and remind myself that hundreds of students complete this program every year...therefore it's not impossible, just intense and busy.
Here we go!!
This morning was nursing orientation. Four hours filled with even more stress of talking about how crazy and rigorous and insane the program is going to be, of hearing people chit-chat about various things, and even more anxiety about starting this program on Monday. The next year of my life is practically written in stone. On the stone it reads "Nicole A Carr: Accelerated Nursing Student (aka that's all she's doing) 2012-2012." However, it was reassuring that the professors all recognize the rigors of the program, are incredibly supportive of us, and are just as excited as we are to start yet another crazy year.
I lost my phone about a week ago...and I got the new iphone 4S today. That's my newest struggle on top of everything else. At least I have a communicative device. An expensive costly little thing but eh, apparently that's what all that overtime was for.
So for now I am super stressed, but I'm trying to relax myself and remind myself that hundreds of students complete this program every year...therefore it's not impossible, just intense and busy.
Here we go!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Reupholstered Chair
I finished another DIY project...I upholstered the chair that came with my desk. For this project, I was originally going to sand and stain the wood, and simply replace the fabric. HA! For the frame, I decided to steel wool it and then spray paint it with a darker brown matte spraypaint. When I took the fabric off the seat, I realized the original fabric was also still on it, underneath the ugly plaid (it was an even uglier orange). I also realized that when someone had reupholstered and reapplied the chair bottom, the screw holes were side by side, leaving me with a high chance of stripping the screw holes and/or splitting the old wood. Therefore my dad helped to trace out a new bottom on which we got new foam, and cut a new funky indoor/outdoor fabric I scooped up from Joann fabrics. Here's the pics of the process and final product :-)
the chair before
spray painting the frame
fabric and new chair bottom
chair bottom once finished upholstering
trying to get a shot of the spraypaint finish
the finished chair!
did i mention it was a folding chair?!!?
Friday, December 30, 2011
Saying Toute A' Leure
Today wasn't the funnest day at work that I've ever had...but not for the reasons one would expect.
Today was my last day working down in Correctional Care Medical Facility as my boss hired me intermittently on unit 5A while in school, instead of intermittently on our unit. See, I still see it as my unit.
But that's what it's become. I threw myself head-first into work, with it becoming a huge part of my life. I made it a fun place to be, and developed relationships very quickly with all the staff. I relied on my Sheriff's every day and my co-workers, finding enjoyment in building relationships in which I could laugh and joke with them, have a sense of trust and comraderie.
And today was my last day, with me having to say good-bye to the Sheriff's who have supported me and joked with me and my co-workers who have challenged me and helped me.
It was so bittersweet. I know I'm taking steps forward but that doesn't mean I don't still glance behind and miss those that I've become close with. Hugging the Sheriff's and my co-workers bye today made my heart sink. I've been fighting back tears all day long.
What can I say?! I'm such a girl.
I already miss my Sheriff's...I miss Doc spilling trivia, The General howling and playing country music, Fish willingly opening doors while pretending to trip me, Ray giving his goofy smile and playing the grumpy one, Lee telling me I need to get to work, Kiger expecting me to pay up on unfulfilled bets, and Rodart yelling "yo Adrian".
I miss my charge nurses asking me to take vitals and joking with me about random patient care.
I know I'll have that on the other unit but Correctional Care became my home. It's hard saying good-bye to what became my comfort zone and my home.
So I cry.
I guess that's what happened when you get attached...
Today was my last day working down in Correctional Care Medical Facility as my boss hired me intermittently on unit 5A while in school, instead of intermittently on our unit. See, I still see it as my unit.
But that's what it's become. I threw myself head-first into work, with it becoming a huge part of my life. I made it a fun place to be, and developed relationships very quickly with all the staff. I relied on my Sheriff's every day and my co-workers, finding enjoyment in building relationships in which I could laugh and joke with them, have a sense of trust and comraderie.
And today was my last day, with me having to say good-bye to the Sheriff's who have supported me and joked with me and my co-workers who have challenged me and helped me.
It was so bittersweet. I know I'm taking steps forward but that doesn't mean I don't still glance behind and miss those that I've become close with. Hugging the Sheriff's and my co-workers bye today made my heart sink. I've been fighting back tears all day long.
What can I say?! I'm such a girl.
I already miss my Sheriff's...I miss Doc spilling trivia, The General howling and playing country music, Fish willingly opening doors while pretending to trip me, Ray giving his goofy smile and playing the grumpy one, Lee telling me I need to get to work, Kiger expecting me to pay up on unfulfilled bets, and Rodart yelling "yo Adrian".
I miss my charge nurses asking me to take vitals and joking with me about random patient care.
I know I'll have that on the other unit but Correctional Care became my home. It's hard saying good-bye to what became my comfort zone and my home.
So I cry.
I guess that's what happened when you get attached...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
My Finished Side Tables!
I finally finished my side tables!! It took me awhile thanks to doing a bunch of killer overtime. However, I finally have them (almost completely) finished! Here's some pics of the process :-)
The only thing left is the polyurethane coat on top to protect in case drinks or whatever are placed on it. But they are currently in the garage drying. Once they are in use I'll take a pic and show what they look like actually being put to use but that will have to wait until I move to my new place. I have quite a few other projects I'm working on. I'll post those once I have finished :-)
The only thing left is the polyurethane coat on top to protect in case drinks or whatever are placed on it. But they are currently in the garage drying. Once they are in use I'll take a pic and show what they look like actually being put to use but that will have to wait until I move to my new place. I have quite a few other projects I'm working on. I'll post those once I have finished :-)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
"You Are The Perfect Match"
On Wednesday December 14th I got a call from a lady at the bone marrow donation....the basic introductory name and where she's calling from, tagged along with she needed to talk to me about my blood samples, and then followed by the words "you are the perfect match for the donor".
FANTASTIC!!!
Since then, I have signed all the paperwork, found out more about the exact procedure I'll be doing, and today I had my physical/first appt for the procedure.
Here's what I know. I'm donating to a lady with acute leukemia, and I am taking part of a research study as I am not doing bone marrow donation, as in someone sticking a huge needle in my hip. I am doing what is known as PBSC donation. I will be injected with a chemical hormone that will stimulate my immune system to ramp up and produce lots of bone-making stem cells, WBC's, etc. I do those for five days and on the fifth day I go through a procedure known as apheresis. It will take approximately 5-6 hours. I'll be hooked up to a machine that is much like a hemodialysis machine, in which my blood will exit via one arm, go through a machine which will filter out the PBSC products, and then put my blood back in my body.
It will be painful in a way, as the injections will produce flu-like symptoms, and then having huge needles in my arms for 5 hours or more is not fun, but if that's all I have to endure to save a life, I'm going for it!!
So excited...and nervous....to do this donation.
I donate Jan 13th. In one week I'll start nursing school and donate bone marrow. What a week that will be!!
FANTASTIC!!!
Since then, I have signed all the paperwork, found out more about the exact procedure I'll be doing, and today I had my physical/first appt for the procedure.
Here's what I know. I'm donating to a lady with acute leukemia, and I am taking part of a research study as I am not doing bone marrow donation, as in someone sticking a huge needle in my hip. I am doing what is known as PBSC donation. I will be injected with a chemical hormone that will stimulate my immune system to ramp up and produce lots of bone-making stem cells, WBC's, etc. I do those for five days and on the fifth day I go through a procedure known as apheresis. It will take approximately 5-6 hours. I'll be hooked up to a machine that is much like a hemodialysis machine, in which my blood will exit via one arm, go through a machine which will filter out the PBSC products, and then put my blood back in my body.
It will be painful in a way, as the injections will produce flu-like symptoms, and then having huge needles in my arms for 5 hours or more is not fun, but if that's all I have to endure to save a life, I'm going for it!!
So excited...and nervous....to do this donation.
I donate Jan 13th. In one week I'll start nursing school and donate bone marrow. What a week that will be!!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
@update
It's amazing how times flies and just HOW much we can fit into smaller units of time. Life is...unspeakably busy and chaotic...and beautiful. Trying to cherish my life but when there's so much shoved into it, it's just flying by.
The latest updates:
1. I signed the lease on the apartment I'll be sharing with 3 other accelerated students...agh!! So crazy and exciting and nerve-wracking. All at once.
2. I have most everything figured out for nursing school...but still have to buy books. And it starts in about 3.5 weeks. Somebody please pinch me. That's way too soon!! And in less than a year I'll be done with nursing school. Ridic.
3. I am working on the side tables with my dad...all that's left is staining them (picture post to come soon).
4. I'm working crazy amounts of overtime. As in, working almost every day. Hence why I haven't been able to finish projects, post anything about life, or get anything done that I need to get done. Great for extra dough, tough on the sleep schedule, stress that I have, and overcommitment tendencies that I have. But the big boss called in a favor...couldn't say no.
5. I'm a bone marrow donor match!! I'll be donating sometime halfway through January!!
So much to do, so little time, so many emotions I'm loving and ignoring. Ah, isn't life bliss?!?! :-)
The latest updates:
1. I signed the lease on the apartment I'll be sharing with 3 other accelerated students...agh!! So crazy and exciting and nerve-wracking. All at once.
2. I have most everything figured out for nursing school...but still have to buy books. And it starts in about 3.5 weeks. Somebody please pinch me. That's way too soon!! And in less than a year I'll be done with nursing school. Ridic.
3. I am working on the side tables with my dad...all that's left is staining them (picture post to come soon).
4. I'm working crazy amounts of overtime. As in, working almost every day. Hence why I haven't been able to finish projects, post anything about life, or get anything done that I need to get done. Great for extra dough, tough on the sleep schedule, stress that I have, and overcommitment tendencies that I have. But the big boss called in a favor...couldn't say no.
5. I'm a bone marrow donor match!! I'll be donating sometime halfway through January!!
So much to do, so little time, so many emotions I'm loving and ignoring. Ah, isn't life bliss?!?! :-)
Thursday, December 01, 2011
It's the Season for Giving
My cell phone is constantly on silent or MIA anymore.
Since I started my job at Denver Health in April, I went from being completely reliant on my phone (was on my person at all times and every notification had a different ringtone, etc) to learning that being disconnected can sometimes be a beautiful thing. Training at nights, I learned how to become disconnected from being immediately available and since then I've transitioned to it being a habit that even when I'm not at work, it's on silent or not within reach most of the time as I don't need to be instantly available and I really just don't need to be that connected.
The only downfall, is I miss calls all the time. Which is why I always tell people, if I don't answer - and I probably won't, even if I look at my phone - then leave a message.
I walked out of class on Tuesday to see I had a missed call from a number I didn't know AND a voice message. Intrigued as I don't get many calls period, let alone from random numbers, I listened to the voicemail and got super excited!
Two years ago I signed up for the bone marrow registry. I've always been of the mindset that as long as my body is capable that I should use it to help others. I have been an organ donor since I got my driving learners permit and have donated time and money to several foundations/charities/etc. When I found the bone marrow registry it only made sense that I should offer a sample and be on the registry to help out others. I mean, it's bone marrow, it's not like donating a full-blown organ; it regenerates itself and I'm mostly healthy so it only makes sense!!
Fast forward to Tuesday and I got a lovely voicemail from a woman named Rose from the registry saying that my sample was a potential match!! She asked if I would be willing to continue with the process to see if we truly were a match and then proceed with the donation.
I never expected that I would actually get this call, though I hoped I would, as matching someone else is quite difficult.
Next tuesday I go in to give a blood sample and submit a full health questionnaire. In the sample I provided several years ago they match 6 markers. Once that match is found they call the donor in for a blood sample (as the first sample was a series of cheek swabs) to test for a full set of 10 markers and to see how the donor & recipient's blood interact. If that proves successful, then we start making plans for the donation process itself! Here's to hoping I am indeed a match and can help the health of another individual. By simply giving some of my bone marrow, I could help save a life :-) If I am I'll tell more about the donation process itself!
If you are interested in bone marrow donation, simply go to this link:
Be The Match
It's a simple process to sign up to be on the registry. You simply fill out some brief contact information and do a quick, simple series of cheek swabs. It takes a whole five minutes and you could potentially be somebody's match :-)
Since I started my job at Denver Health in April, I went from being completely reliant on my phone (was on my person at all times and every notification had a different ringtone, etc) to learning that being disconnected can sometimes be a beautiful thing. Training at nights, I learned how to become disconnected from being immediately available and since then I've transitioned to it being a habit that even when I'm not at work, it's on silent or not within reach most of the time as I don't need to be instantly available and I really just don't need to be that connected.
The only downfall, is I miss calls all the time. Which is why I always tell people, if I don't answer - and I probably won't, even if I look at my phone - then leave a message.
I walked out of class on Tuesday to see I had a missed call from a number I didn't know AND a voice message. Intrigued as I don't get many calls period, let alone from random numbers, I listened to the voicemail and got super excited!
Two years ago I signed up for the bone marrow registry. I've always been of the mindset that as long as my body is capable that I should use it to help others. I have been an organ donor since I got my driving learners permit and have donated time and money to several foundations/charities/etc. When I found the bone marrow registry it only made sense that I should offer a sample and be on the registry to help out others. I mean, it's bone marrow, it's not like donating a full-blown organ; it regenerates itself and I'm mostly healthy so it only makes sense!!
Fast forward to Tuesday and I got a lovely voicemail from a woman named Rose from the registry saying that my sample was a potential match!! She asked if I would be willing to continue with the process to see if we truly were a match and then proceed with the donation.
I never expected that I would actually get this call, though I hoped I would, as matching someone else is quite difficult.
Next tuesday I go in to give a blood sample and submit a full health questionnaire. In the sample I provided several years ago they match 6 markers. Once that match is found they call the donor in for a blood sample (as the first sample was a series of cheek swabs) to test for a full set of 10 markers and to see how the donor & recipient's blood interact. If that proves successful, then we start making plans for the donation process itself! Here's to hoping I am indeed a match and can help the health of another individual. By simply giving some of my bone marrow, I could help save a life :-) If I am I'll tell more about the donation process itself!
If you are interested in bone marrow donation, simply go to this link:
Be The Match
It's a simple process to sign up to be on the registry. You simply fill out some brief contact information and do a quick, simple series of cheek swabs. It takes a whole five minutes and you could potentially be somebody's match :-)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Next DIY Project
My dad came home with a really sweet DIY project idea...and he's been chomping at the bit to actually do it!! So despite my crazy busy life and the three other projects I have to do as well, he decided we needed to go get the stuff for this project from Lowe's today.
Lowe's & Home Depot (though huge corporation stores and thus not my fav) have become hot spots for me lately.
Here's the project!! (and of course I'll post pics once it's done)
Lowe's & Home Depot (though huge corporation stores and thus not my fav) have become hot spots for me lately.
Here's the project!! (and of course I'll post pics once it's done)
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