Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Love this pic

Eric and I are complicated, yet blissfully complicated.

I've learned that for whatever reason he's afraid of relationships. I don't know if there's some sort of undertone that he associates with them or if he's just so afraid of getting burned he doesn't want to be in one. But I've come to find out that he's not afraid of me. He actually enjoys his time with me and he's getting much more comfortable around me.

We're not in an "exclusive" but we're exclusive to each other if that makes sense. Obviously there's something there.....he has kept coming back around to me since April and he always says how glad he is that we met and whatnot.

But it's still complicated. It's definitely hard being in a relationship where it's so obvious that I care more about him than he does about me. It makes me question a lot of things and makes me wonder but I'm also just trying to be content with now.

I'm not looking at this relationship right now as dating for marriage. If that was the case I wouldn't date. Heaven only knows marriage is years down the road in my future and is not something I'm looking to start looking at anytime soon.

But I do know I love Eric and he has the potential to completely break my heart. And to be honest, I can't answer whether he will or not.

I find it amusing that he's so scared of him getting his heart broken when it's only been hurt once.....and I've been in abusive relationships and had my heart broken quite a few times....yet my heart is completely out on the line and his not-so-much.

It's interesting....and all I can do is hand it all over to God.

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