Tuesday, March 30, 2010

meditating on a friend

I have the whole house to myself right now.

I have enjoyed this absolutely beautiful Colorado day....the sun was shining, it was very hot (I was actually sweating my bootay off), the breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing outside my window.

I can't even really express how wonderful it is for me to start hearing birds chirp in the spring...there's something about it that brings back a lot of memories but just embodies warm weather and calm beautiful mornings to me. I only hope that Mr. Squawk will again visit...as annoying as he may be, it's nice to have a companion that you can count on...even if he is a bird that screeches terribly loud.

Right now I'm typing at the computer in the den...I get to watch the sunset out the windows as I sit here and reflect, and it's incredible.

Today my heart has been content and restless all at once. I want to go and do something but at the same time it's my spring break. I think tomorrow might be an adventure for The Tattered Cover downtown and a park....with my camera in tow.

I was talking to my mom this morning about a lot of my passions in life and she mentioned a few things that I should think about....and that's what's on my mind. I don't want to even get into them because I'm afraid to let my heart desire such wild dreams but I can't help but really start to feel that God really has great things destined for me if I just learn to have faith and let myself fall into these adventures of a lifetime.

Alyssa is leaving for the Peacecorps soon and I'm met with some really mixed emotions....I've been meditating on a lot of thoughts all day. Tonight will be the last time I will see her, for a couple of years....and I've been reflecting on our friendship over the past couple years.

I have Alyssa to thank for helping me to find myself in a lot of ways. She has encouraged and supported me to look within myself, discover my own passions and heart, and to run with it. She has helped me to fly....and now I have to let her fly. I have to put our "in person" friendship on hold while she goes to another side of the world to help others. I don't want to be selfish but I am because she's been so influential. I don't want to let go of one of the people who has let me start becoming myself. But at the same time, I'm so excited for what's going to be going on in her life for the next two years....she'll be helping villages in Guatemala.

It's just hard letting go of someone who understands and supports such a huge part of what you are.

But I have been blessed by our friendship. And I know it will still be there when she gets back in July of 2012....but I wonder....where will we be?! Who will we be?!

And holy crap, that's going to be a marathon of catching up!!

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