Thursday, August 20, 2009

Starting His Journey

Yesterday evening I waved goodbye to he drove off to college.

I helped to raise my brothers so on one hand I am their sister, on the other hand I have always sort of played a motherly role. I am one of their good friends but also someone they run to when they need advice or help or an understanding ear.

For that reason, it's hard to watch my brothers start their journeys and go in separate ways....only because I want to be there for them both through it all. But I can't be. I have my own road and they have theirs and we all have to fly :)

As Kevan said: I am an eagle. We all are eagles, we all have to fly to our futures.

He gave me a few huge bear hugs, one in which he lifted me off the ground and spun me around (I love those). And kissed me on my cheek a few times. Then as we were leaving he rolled down his windows, blasted one of my fav songs of the moment (Down by Jay Sean) and blew me a kiss. I ended up following both my parents and Kevan towards the freeway as that was the direction I gave them. Before getting on the freeway and me turning onto the frontage road Kevan waved out the car window back at me and I honked.....and that is how Kevan left for college. Wish I could have captured it with my camera but sometimes a picture just doesn't show the emotion you want it to. A picture couldn't capture how proud I am yet how sad I am to watch Kevan leave. It also can't capture how much of a change it is in my life to finally have us older three all out of the house.

All I can say is mom and dad are going to have to get used to a completely different household. It's going to be so much more quiet than they are used to that's for sure.

No more music blasting in the mornings during shower time, no more of us dancing in front of the tv or regular debates over the stupidest of topics, no more dancing and singing in the kitchen, no more doors being opened and slammed as we go back and forth and in and out of the house. What a change for my parents. What a change for us three.

I only hope that we keep in close contact. I can't imagine life without my brothers.

And because they are going their own ways again, it makes me antsy to have my own place. I hate being stuck in limbo but can't afford to not be stuck here at the moment. I want a place of my own, I want to find my own niche in the day, someday. Hopefully very soon.

I'm gonna miss Kevo....which is why I plan on traveling to Nebraska soon enough :)

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