Tuesday, August 25, 2009

How do you....

tell a friend they are making decisions that are going to absolutely devastate them and potentially "ruin" a good portion of their life?!

How do you let one of your best friends ever know that they are in an abusive relationship that is already tearing them down little by little?! How do you let them know that the road to pick up the pieces after the heartbreak that is inevitable is hard and long and you honestly don't think they have the strength of character to pick themselves back up afterwards?! How do you let this same friend know that you know exactly what they are going through?!

After having been in several manipulative relationships in my past, I can see all the warning signs. I can taste, feel, touch and see it.

Shelly has been dating this guy going on three months now. For most of that she's been convinced she's going to marry him. I found out she's even gone shopping for engagement rings. I'm not supposed to know any of this so I can't even talk to her about it.

I love Shelly to death but she's already needy. Which is what makes it even easier for her to be "brainwashed" which she already has been. She can't handle or even imagine the thought of life without this guy who has only been in her life for three months. She thinks she needs him. She doesn't!! I know this!! I lived with her for nine months. She does need friends but she doesn't need him.

She just moved to montana yesterday for grad school. Her FUTURE lies in this masters. Her dreams, her hopes. She's already convinced she hates Montana because she's away from him. Less than 24 hours and she's made up her mind!! That's impossible.

She's already determined that going to Montana is going to be a horrible experience. It will be. Mind over matter is so powerful, but especially more so when that mind is being negative about something.

I just don't know how to tell her I think she's making a huge mistake. I don't know how to open her eyes.

I want her to be in my heart and mind for even ten minutes. Maybe then she can understand, she can see my past and learn from it without having to go through it!!!

I want the world for my friends, I just don't know how to help them sometimes.

1 comment:

A Lady Called Amy said...

Even if she were in your mind, she'd still want to make her own way and "know" what was best for her. I've been just as worried for you in the past... lol, sometimes I still am! I know that God knows what we need to learn though and will refine us through the trials we put ourselves in. Hopefully she'll figure things out sooner than later and be able to pick up the pieces with as little damage as possible. :-) I'll pray.