Thursday, September 23, 2010

Looking at the past

Last night I read some of my blogs from September to December of 2008.

And wow! I LIKED reading those blogs, I LIKED the strong growing woman that I was in those posts. I LIKED the positive, opinionated, educated, outspoken, faithful, energetic, adventurous woman that I saw coming through in those blogs.

I want to get back to that. I feel like for the past year or so I haven't been as positive and adventurous and spontaneous as I was back in those posts.

I think my environment, my responsibilities, the people surrounding me, the lack of a learning environment have all lead that.

Oh how I desire to be the same strong woman I was, to have that underlying peace and contentment, to have that strong will back in my life. I desire to be SO damn opinionated again.

Life needs to be enjoyed and I haven't been enjoying it lately. I've been hiding from it and avoiding it. I've been letting it get me down. I've been suppressing important parts of myself. That needs to stop.

Because even if no one else sees it or hears it, I haven't been ok for awhile now, and I don't exactly like who I am and how I've felt for awhile now.

I need to work on that.

Sometimes looking at the past is important in looking towards the future.

Hopefully this is an example of that....

No comments: