Thursday, December 24, 2009

The holidays are upon us and it honestly just really doesn't feel like holiday time to me.

We finally got snow for Christmas and I do adore that. It makes it feel a bit more like Christmas but I still feel as though there's something missing from the holidays....only I can't tell you what it is.

Right now I enjoy spending the holidays single and with my family....however I do look forward to the time when I can spend the holidays with a loved one. All in due time I suppose.

Confusion and feeling lost have become staples of my life right now but I've decided I'm not going to let them hold me back. I do encounter setbacks a lot more frequently than I ever want to but I can't let it hold me back or get me down. I do want to do something with my life, only I'm not quite sure what it is. I love my kiddos and I don't know what I'd do without them. But at the same time I feel as though God wants me somewhere else. Only I can't figure out where it is or how to get there. So that's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I'm actually becoming nervous because I feel as God might have plans for me as far as the other side of the world....but am I strong enough to pick up and go where He wants me to be?!?! That is the real question. Am I brave and strong enough to leave my life, both good and bad here, to go where I need to go?!?!

I'm pretty positive God has destined me to be a world traveler. He didn't put this desire to go halfway across the world for nothing. And I would LOVE to live over in Europe for a time. But am I brave enough to pick up and move and start totally anew and leave my weaknesses and family behind?!

I guess we'll see eventually when I can get my feet under me and figure out what I'm supposed to do.

All I know is I currently have a yearning and something inside me that I need to go somewhere else.....probably even out of this country.....for some amount of time. I need a COMPLETE change of scenery I feel sometimes. A breath of fresh air. And I need adventure and spontaniety and something completely different and life-changing.

Goodness, I talk bigger and dream bigger than I think I'm actually capable of accomplishing.

But with that, I'm gonna go finish my Christmas cards :) Merry Christmas!!!

1 comment:

Michael & Kristin said...

Summer trip? Navs have great 2-3 months ones, if you're interested in something more organized :)