Nervousness

Tomorrow (ok well technically tonight) as a research group we are going out on the touch to belatedly celebrate my 21st. Brian, Kelly, Alyse and at least myself are going out. I've never been out. I don't go out. I stay home, I cause trouble by getting into unharmful mischief, I party by laughing until the wee hours with friends. I've never been out. I'm nervous about it. Not quite sure why. And I'm going to be drinking. Not to get drunk, but to have a few drinks. I've never had more than three Smirnoff ices at a time. We'll see how this works.

I'm excited to hang out with Brian and get to know him better on Sunday. Is it a date or is it just hanging out? Kelly keeps calling it a date, I think it's hanging out getting to know each other better. I wonder how Brian sees it. Hmmm. Oh and also nervous for that. I haven't been asked out on a first date since I was, well actually since my freshman year of high school. WOW!

The first guy I dated asked me out on a date to go to homecoming. My second relationship was a set-up blind date that went well. My third relationship we met and became friends via myspace and then I was asked to "wait" for him until he got home from being stationed in Okinawa. There was no real first date. Wow, it's all kind of new for me :)

I'm reading Captivating. I love this book so far!! Honestly, it's touching a place in my heart I couldn't imagine. I picked it up and started reading it about a year ago. I couldn't get past page four or five. I wasn't prepared, my heart wasn't ready.

Now my heart is prepared, my heart is open. This book is speaking to me in a way I needed to hear. Next I'm going to read Wild at Heart. I want to understand males a little better. I've heard it's an A-MAZ-ING book. Did you know the authors live here in Colorado?! I love how they are so honest.

I admire honesty. I would rather hear the most awful truth than to be lied to.

My bible verse for the day:

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

The three things a woman longs for in her heart of hearts (so true):

To be romanced, to play an irreplacable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty.

That is exactly what my deepest desires are, what my heart yearns for and what I dream about. It's what makes a woman come alive.