Hahaha Welp!!!

Thank you Lord :)

Honestly I mean it.

I am spending the day as a "diabetic" testing my blood sugars and poking my fingers. Not injecting false insulin though....thank gosh, don't think I could do that. I have to track how much insulin I WOULD give myself though. I'm really thankful I don't have diabetes.

I got to spend a half hour sitting by the lagoon and talking to God today. It was quite refreshing and very peaceful and calming.

I needed it after last night.

My mood is kinda sketch right now. I'm on my period and for some reason semi emotional this time around. Usually I'm not even close but I have been so sensitive to everything yesterday. I laughed hard, I cried hard, I was more quiet than normal, I have that slight feeling of frustration that comes on the rare months I actually exhibit symptoms of PMS.

Last night, Brian emailed me back about an email I sent to him, asking if he considered our time together two sundays ago a date or hanging out. (I also explained to him in the email my feelings are not rebound....and that I don't want to rush anything......and that I'm protecting my heart right now.) He replied that we are friends getting to know each other :) However, he also informed me that my dad had friend requested him on facebook and asked to meet with him, me and my mom all together.

I understand my dad's intentions. However, heads up notice would have been most preferable! I had no idea this was happening. Fortunately Brian was not too weirded out, but I am! Like he said, he probably feels as though we were dating and rushing, and that's not what I want. I just want to get to know him.

Awkwardness.

He's going to respond to him, let him know that Brian and I stand as friends right now and I'm going to have a talk with my parents when I get home tomorrow. They have great intentions but that was a bit too much too soon for me just telling them how I like the guy.

When I got Brian's email I laughed so hard I started crying, then I cried, because it makes me feel SO embarrassed. Great memory to laugh at later on in life though :)

Anywho, I guess in one sense it makes it easier for me to not be so nervous around Brian as I feel as though that just freaked him out and the hopes of ever being asked on a date in the future are drastically less. Ok, maybe that's unrealistic but that's how this made me feel. But awkwardness to the max!

I have a midterm in an hour. I don't honestly care. I don't like the class, I'm over school right now. I just don't care about it. And I don't think it will be hard.

I'm concerned about Kelly. She is going through some tough times with her fiance. He's being a grade-A dick right now and all I wanna do is fix her life for her. Man I'm a fixer. I like to fix, take care, help things.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm cold-hearted. I'm not as empathetic and sympathetic as most people. Well in some cases. In other instances I am. But sometimes I wonder if my lack of emotions towards things is bad. It feels wrong but I've just hardened parts of my heart to certain situations in the world.

Newest favorite songs at the moment: Jason Mraz "I'm Yours", Colbie Caillat "Magic", and Jazon Mraz w/ Colbie Caillat "Lucky"

I'm longing to read my bible and talk to God right now. I need it. He calms my heart and nerves.

I'm learning patience right now. I have faith God has a wonderful A-MAZ-ING plan for my life, I just have to have patience to see what it is!!

Man I can't wait to see what that plan is :) I have so many hopes, dreams, desires and passions. I know if I follow the right path I will be blessed in the most unimagineable way possible....God will fulfill those hopes, dreams, desires and passions. I know he will :)

Ok on to mid-term #1.