Thankful Thoughts

Lord, thank You for the gift of life. Honestly praise God! My brother Kevan was hit by a malicious motorist in a car while riding the MS150. It was a hit n' run and for the most part he is ok. He has a sprained shoulder and a cracked rib. His helmet was cracked, his left side where he landed pretty banged up all in all. He fell into the middle of the road after being hit.

This doesn't sound like much but let's keep it in this perspective. Had a car been traveling at any close distance to the car that struck him, that car would have run over Kevan, killing him in the act. Had Kevan fallen at a different angle or with a different force, his cracked rib may have turned into a broken rib and punctured a vital organ; worse yet his head may have sustained more serious injuries. The brain is a delicate organ in whose injuries most often are semi-permanent to permanent given certain circumstances.

Kevan turned 17 today. There is such a huge possibility that I could have been attending his birthday either in a hospital or worse yet at his own funeral. And I thank God I'm not. I'm not ready to lose anyone in my family. I'm a strong person but I don't think I'm that strong. I think God knows that. God was watching out for us that day. The whole race. Thank you Lord that I can celebrate Kevan's birthday watching him do the 'chapstick dance' and not watching him in a vigil of some sort.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot ever since I became a Christian is evangelism. We are constantly told we need to evangelize. That rewards will await us in heaven, riches awarded for every good deed, including evangelism. I'm not the sort of person to walk up to a person and ask them what they believe then immediately jump into the gospel. I'm not ashamed of my faith in the slightest. Every person I work with or interact with knows I'm a Christian. I'm not afraid to tell my beliefs in a conversation or go against the norm of college life by saying I don't believe in something because of what my God tells me on a subject. I will admit my own hypocricies, but will also remind people I'm human and the only person incapable of sinning and doing wrong is Jesus so to hold me to that same standard is ludacris. However, I don't share my faith a lot of times by words. I do it by acts. By choosing to not party and get drunk, by choosing to help those in need, to be the friend that someone can come to, to be the person that people can talk to without fear of judgment.

I feel that I'm better able to share the love of Jesus if people see my kindness, my acts, my passion for God, my compassion and my own faith and then talk to them about why I am the way I am and what makes me who I am. I have been able to better share my faith with those of different lifestyles by telling them I that yes I am a Christian, I do not believe what they are doing is right; however my God tells me to hate the sin and love the sinner and that's what I do. I have a boss who is bisexual and a good friend who is gay. They both know that no matter how many times they talk to me about their personal lives, I will never condone their sexual lifestyle. I won't put them down for it. However they know I hate their sins. But interestingly enough, they continue to come to me, to talk to me in the open and befriend BECAUSE though I hate their sin, I still love who they are. I think that's the greatest thing a Christian can do.

It's amazing to me though how pushy some Christians can get to other Christians. In October/November I was going through a really hard time with life. Everything seemed to be acting against me and life was getting me down. God was my only stronghold in life, the only thing keeping me steady. However, when life gets really hard for me to handle, I have a tendency to isolate a little. I don't ask for help but I am nothing short of the person I usually am, just a little more quiet and nontalkative than usual. My Christian roommates had the audacity to back me into a corner and tell me how "bad" of a Christian I was being and saying things like "don't you want to be a Christian light to the world?" and "you can't possibly show a Christian attitude and be a light to the world" all because I wasn't conforming to their lifestyle and how they wanted to live together. Because I wasn't being buddy-buddy with them and they didn't have power over me, without even asking if anything was wrong, they accused me of being a bad Christian!! I wasn't being any less than the caring person I am, any less civil, any less compassionate or hardworking. I simply wasn't being the person they wanted me to be.

That to me is not being Christian. I don't understand how you can tell another Christian they aren't being "Christian enough" when 1) you have no room to talk down to me as another Christian and 2) they never even took the time to find out if anything was wrong. I have taken great strides in my workplace to spread my faith and share my faith. I may not attend bible study every week like they do but I DO LOVE to go to church and go every sunday. If I don't go, it's because I have a valid reason (ie this past Sunday doing the MS150) in which I'm usually doing something that includes me still showing my faith (as I did at the MS150 with my jerseys and prayers and encouragement with other riders). They still have the audacity to think they are above me, but yet I can't see how they are being Christian lights to the world with their attitudes towards everyone else.

Alright, enough of my thoughts. Nothing productive, merely thoughts that I wanted to get out.