Hanging Lake in Winter

The past month has been an eventful one, and quite the whirlwind of new emotions.

To begin with, no longer am I known as Nicole A C***. Rather I am Nicole A C***, RN, BSN!!!!
That's right folks. I am a Registered Nurse :-) I passed my exam on February 5th and was issued my license number by the end of the day February 6th!! What a great feeling to have finally reached my goal. Now only to find an RN job. Been working on that one....
However, I will say, I'm not quite sure how they gauge anyone is appropriate to be a nurse. I walked out of that test utterly convinced that I had failed. I knew not a single answer to any question.

Next, I have stepped back into the dating world! That's right, after 2+ years of being single, I dipped my toes back into the world of dating. Um can we please admit how scary...and exciting...that is! With that, I will mention no more on the subject.

Lastly, a little getaway to Glenwood Springs was had last week. I thought it a good idea that since I have been continuing to work crazy hours since school stopped, that I should take a week off of work. With that, a little overnight trip to Glenwood Springs to enjoy the hot springs at night ensued. When we left Denver, it was snowing pretty good with a prediction of several inches to fall. Upon arriving in Glenwood, the skies were blue, the sun was out, and there was no fresh snow on the ground. An impromptu hike to Hanging Lake was decided upon. I have wanted to hike up there in summer. The pictures I have seen have been beautiful. I just have never traveled the couple hours to Glenwood Springs to do so.

I will interject and say that if you do go in winter, the hike is pretty simple and easy, pretty short in distance (a mere 1.2 miles) BUT it is quite slick, so if you go, make sure to back a sturdy jacket, gloves, and wear hiking boots with great traction (and/or ice spikes that you can slip over your shoes).

The last little bit of the climb was a little treacherous. I literally used the rail to hoist myself up. But once to the lake, it was absolutely stunningly beautiful!! So worth the entire time hiking up. Taking in the majestic and numerous icicles that are normally waterfalls was breath-taking, and to see the clear water underneath the frozen top layer was spectacular. Absolutely amazing!! So glad we decided to actually hike up it :-)

 

the view while on the hike (more near the top) 

 Upon first seeing the lake at the top of the hike

 aren't those icicles just amazing?!

 look at that crystal clear water

 taking in the view

 more icicles!!

a more vertical view of the

the top of the falls

 

 Eric and I with Hanging Lake in the background 

 

 

the sunset once we were back down at the bottom 

Like I said, if you get the chance to do this hike, DO IT! I will most definitely be hiking it again in the summer to get the wonderful contrast :-)  

Fun With A Munchkin

I have one nephew, which is odd for me to say as I'm the OLDEST of four, and so far the only one still single. Two of my three younger brothers are already MARRIED, at least a year each. Makes me kinda feel like an old maid. But with one marriage also brought my first nephew, which I adore. I adore being Auntie Cole.

They recently moved to Cali but my sis-in-law will be coming back every 5-6 weeks to continue her job doing hair for her clientele here in Colorado. Which means on that week I'll get to see and spoil my nephew. Though I was working nights and exhausted, his smile greeted me each morning and I happily deprived myself of sleep to help take care of this cute little guy. It's always nice to have that special little bond.

I adore the times when I can play with him down on the floor, or I'm so tired but still trying to entertain him so I become a human jungle gym while I lightly rest. It's also cute when, as I'm getting ready and doing my routine, I get to carry him along with me, and can make it fun. Such as, for instance, when I throw one of my beanies on him while I'm getting ready to go brave the cold, and I have my own beanie on ;-) Makes for cute candid moments!!

Such a cute lil guy!! I can't wait to see him again in another month. Gonna miss his little laugh around here.

DIY - Mason Jar Lamp, T-shirt Blanket, Letter Photography Frame

One of the best parts of being done with that crazy accelerated nursing program was I was able to get a few projects done. Two were Christmas presents and the other was something for my own room. Of course, I can't take credit for any of these projects, I am a DIY blog junkie who loves to find inspiration and projects from all over the interwebs.

The first was a name sign for my sister-in-law Jenni for Christmas. Each year we do a name draw between all the kids with a $30 limit so that we don't go broke, as our family expands. I also enjoy hand-making things so of course I started searching for a fun idea. I can no longer find the original link where I found this project but it's fairly simple.

The materials:
-a scrap piece of wood or cheap wood from Home Depot (I used one that's 1" thick so it can easily be hung from a wall or propped up)
-cheap picture frames
-a little paint (acrylic...either craft paint or paint samples from Lowe's/Home Depot)
-some printed out alphabet photos
-hot glue gun

Because our last name is CARR, I bought four cheap photo frames costing $1 each from Wal-Mart. I removed the glass and backing to paint the frames the color I wanted (in this case a sunflower yellow), and then painted my scrap piece of wood (which I cut to the dimensions in length and width of how I wanted it to be proportioned. I then applied the glass and photos to the frames (gentle removing that little stand/partition from the back), and then glued the frames to the wood. Voila, easy and cheap project!! I did not apply the wall hangers to the back, as I wanted them to choose how they wanted to display it but those can be bought at any hardware store for about $1-$2 bucks, easily applied with a screwdriver and then hung onto the wall!!

My next project was for myself and I found it here at Color Me Glamorous. She has some really neat projects but given my obsession for mason jars and a need for a new lamp, I wanted to give it a go :-) I found some teal mason jars at a thrift store in Fort Collins ($5/each), the lampshade was on sale at Target awhile back for $4, and the lamp kit was $10 at Lowe's. To make this, simply follow her tutorial. You will need a drill and a glass drill bit (which can be purchased for ~$7 at Lowe's/Home Depot). When I was done, I added a little bit of colored rocks we had sitting around into the jar and voila, a brand new, fun, and unique lamp!!

My last project was a little bit more lengthy and included me really learning how to use a sewing machine! While I have used it in the past to make pillows, I had never used it to THIS extent before. Not to mention I also learned how to do the zig-zag pattern, and how changing the settings applies to the bobbin, presser foot, etc. Might I also add I was using my mom's sewing machine which is a full decade older than I am!! You can find the tutorial here at You're So Martha. She also has some great projects and I will readily admit, this one is pretty simple and she explains it SO well. So just head over there.

Anyway, my parents are Harley Davidson lovers. They get us t-shirts from Sturgis, Daytona Bike Week, and other biker occasions all the time. My brothers grow out of them or wear them out. So we decided to use all those shirts (plus some from thrift stores and some cheap bids from ebay) on one side, and then I got a piece of felt (on clearance from Joann Fabrics ~$5 for 8 yards!) to go on the back. I simply cut them to the dimensions I wanted (15"x15" as we wanted a huge blanket), and followed the tutorial instructions. The most intensive part was the amount of pinning that had to be done and redone on a blanket this side. Either way, it came out beautiful and my dad loves it. He has it laying on HIS side of the bed though it was for both of them. What a really cool way to personalize a gift...by hand-making something of meaning. Adds that little something extra special to the project!!

 The stack of t-shirts before I began cutting them with my template.

Determining my layout before I started pinning the blanket.

 

The finished project...sorry it's blurry, it was a quick camera picture before I had to hurriedly wrap it. Covert blanket operation was in full effect to finish it while my parents were at dinner one night. 

2013, where did 2012 go?!

Everyone said that this last year would go fast and indeed it has! On one hand it dragged on, incredibly long, but on the other hand it went by decently fast, though I didn't get to enjoy too much of it.

I can also tell it was busy by the lack of writing I have done, both here on my blog and in my journal. Only one journal entry for 2012 and I didn't even get a chance to finish it!! A few more made it up here but that's due to how fast and easy it is for me to type compared to handwritten entries.

This is a catch up.

Since my last entry, a lot transpired. Basically a lot of holidays, a lot of family, and tying up the ends of finishing nursing school. Quite a bit of studying (though not as much as I would have liked to say), a ton of work, and catching up on sleep. I've even gone so far as to actually bake and cook once or twice!! That my friends is saying something, both to how much time I have and the lack of other things to do, as most are aware that cooking/baking is not my passion.

 This year's Christmas was pretty low-key, which I thought was wonderful. Just my parents, us kids (minus Marsh, Jenni and Axel), and a pretty simple Christmas morning. We made Christmas dinner and then that night both my father and I headed to work. I decorated the tree and stair-case, as usual, and tried to make the house feel warm and inviting :-)

 This year my gifts were few and simple (though not exactly cheap!). I got what I asked for as both a graduation and Christmas gift. See on one hand I'm feminine, yet I also love powertools, anything that goes fast, and have started looking at getting my concealed carry. So for Christmas I asked for a subcompact pistol. What I got was a Glock Subcompact 9mm 26Gen (or 27Gen....can't remember).

 

My father took me shooting for the first time and I LOVED IT!! At first it was very awkward, getting used to holding a weapon that could kill someone if not handled properly, and adjusting to the kickback. But once I got it down I found it such a thrill! And might I add, I turned out to not be too shabby of a shot :-)

 

This is just a random picture of me....that I took right after the finish of my VERY LAST CLINICAL!

This month has also marked a few milestones. On January 22nd, it was the 2-yr anniversary of losing my little Ethie. There is not a day that goes by that this little guy is not in my heart and thoughts. He is such a big part of my life that I carry with me every day. He influences how I desire to live my life, what I want to stand for, and how I want to be remembered. And ironically, I now share his same hairstyle, short and red! I miss him so dearly, every day, but look back with so much hope, love, and laughter of the memories I have with him. And his smile still greets me every day as his picture is in my bathroom and one at my bedside. What a wonderful way to always start my day :-)

 This month also marked one year since my bone marrow donation. I was able to make contact with my recipient and it has been such a blessing! What a wonderful thing, to be able to touch someone else's life!! To hear that she gets to spend another year full of holidays with family, friends, and her grandchildren, what an amazing gift. She also seems to have acquired my taste for chocolate and wine ;-) Never a bad thing to pass along.

 I have enjoyed being able to slow down and spend time with family, getting to know my nephew, and be a part of people's lives again. At this point in time, I'm waiting to hear back from The Children's Hospital Colorado, about whether I will get to join their Nurse Residency Program and will be taking my nursing boards in about a week or two. Another busy couple weeks but so blessed!! I also got to attend church for the first time in over a year. How wonderful is that?!?!

Finished Vanity!

While we finished this project ago, I've forgotten to post the finished product. We finished it at my last break, so that was approximately 17 weeks ago. Oh well.

Our original plans were to go get a granite countertop with a bowl sink and this awesome rustic farmhouse spicket-looking faucet. My parents also decided to list their house at that time and it wasn't worth the money to spend that to then turn around and sell the house and the next owners get rid of it (needless to say, I'd be pissed knowing they also got rid of the vanity seems as how I put so much hard work and time into it!). So we decided to get a pre-fabricated sink that (mostly) matched our original ideas and put the faucet back in that had been in the old antique vanity sink.

Without further ado, here is the finished product. I also got a nice little lesson from my faja in how to hook a sink back up ;-)

 Dad and I putting putty in the sink and applying the "backsplash"

 The not-so-original idea sink

 Dad with the finished product

The finished product....LOVE IT!!!

A few more DIY projects will be coming after Christmas....since I made them as Christmas gifts ;-)

Nurse Pinning

Yesterday, the longest and hardest year of my life (and a decade's worth of chasing my dream) culminated in my nurse pinning ceremony.

The pinning ceremony is a special ceremony in which undergraduates are pinned with a pin specially designed for that nursing school. It's a welcoming into the nursing profession. A welcoming that included a whopping 10 seconds on stage receiving a pin the size of my thumbnail ;-)

My family was able to be there, which was amazing, as they have been my support system and my rock through it all. A hard, indescribable year that I couldn't have done without their support.

Some schools have you choose a mentor within the nursing community to pin you. Our school allows us the choice of anyone we would like to pin us. I chose my father, as he has turned into one of my best friends, my mentor, and inspiration. Growing up he has always been involved in my brothers activities, coaching, mentoring, etc. He has turned into my DIY partner and my partner-in-crime for trouble-making. It was my honor to ask and have my father pin me into the beginning of my nursing career. 

 

 My father and I before the pinning 

  

My nursing pin....which is actually silver but looks gold in this picture

 

 The best picture I have of my father pinning me

 My parents and I after the ceremony 

My family and I after the ceremony 

*For the record, everyone take note, I am wearing a skirt!!! And lace, and ruffles, and high heels, and flower earrings. This never happens!! And I look the most professional. A moment that will forever live in history ;-) 

Finale Nursing

I.Am.Done.With.Nursing.School!!!!!!

I actually finished last Friday but I've still been incredibly busy between starting to move stuff out and helping my parents decorate their house for Christmas and catching up with several different friends.

I don't think the reality about being done has fully set in yet. Or that NCLEX will decide my life at the end of January. Or that this year is really over. It's been a crazy whirlwind that is inexplicable to anyone outside of the program. There have been tears, laughs, exhaustion, rewarding moments, confusion, clarity, stress, relaxation, and so much advancement in knowledge and self that I have no idea where to begin.

But I sit here, in our living room, with Christmas music going as Anno cleans her bathroom, our living room dwindling down to the remains of the couch, tv, and my side-tables from the place of life it used to be, my bedroom nearly cleared out, and I have a sense of sadness that it is ending. Despite the hardships, I enjoyed living with my roommates, I enjoyed the unique experiences we got during this program, and I enjoyed working towards my career goal finally. Obviously the road and the journey are just beginning but what a BEGINNING this has been!!

I will miss seeing my classmates and roommates in class but I'm sure I will see several of their faces as colleagues. 

There's no looking back, only forward, and striving towards bigger things and actually tasting the sweet relief of enduring towards this goal for the past ten years of my life.

My mind is heading a million different directions, as it has been this whole past year, so I am going to go see what I can find for my hands to do for now to keep me busy :-)

 This is only 1/3 of our cohort, the 36 of us in the same tract.

New Facets

My last rotation of the year is Community Health, and it is unlike any other rotation. For one, no hospitals are involved. It's exactly what it says it is, serving the populations in the community! Second, a huge emphasis of community health is vulnerable populations. My clinical rotation is in Project H.O.P.E. which serves through the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless. I'm personally at The Samaritan House 2 days a week and then I do health screenings at Civic Center Apartments for their Housing First program.

It has been so amazing to and so privileging to get this opportunity. There are not very many people who are actually aware of the needs and what goes on in the homeless community. I feel that I have a more in-depth perspective working at Denver Health as that is a huge majority of the population that we provide services for. We are a safety net hospital providing care and resources for populations that otherwise wouldn't be able to access or utilize them. I also get the unique opportunity to see connections through Denver Health from the opposite end. It's really cool to see how we are connected to so many resources and how our facility is utilized. The liaisons between community case workers, coalitions, and the services at DH are just incredible.

On Wednesdays I am in the clinic. I have gotten to work one day, where the nurses that staff the clinic are basically volunteers who go through a program similar to Americorps for one year. They live in a community and give their time to the Coalition, serving its populations rotating through all of the clinics. On Thursdays, I spend my day in the kitchen, first serving lunch, then helping to prepare the evening meal, and serving the meal to its population.

Fridays are spent at Civic Center Apartments giving health screenings, which is really awesome, for those that it serves. The populations are comparable. One huge difference is a lot of those that we see at Civic Center Apartments are very much acutely ill in their mental illnesses and are actively fighting and/or under the influence of drugs/alcohol. In order to have a bed at Samaritan House, its residents enter into their 120 day program, where it is required that they remain clean and sober, advance through a series of levels in which they are actively pursuing employment (and usually must be employed after 30 days), and are required to participate in chores within the community of Samaritan House. Failure to meet any of these requirements can result in one being kicked out. They only serve meals to their own population, yet have an overflow area in which they allows 100 or so individuals off the streets to sleep in each night. That night is obviously quite longer than 100 people now that the weather is getting colder and those after the first 100 are turned away, to go find shelter elsewhere or hunker down on a street corner for the night. They also have a respite program that provides housing and care temporarily for those with medical needs. They usually only have 20 respite beds available. Both programs are run on a lottery system or happen by chance/luck for those that inquire at the right time. They house men, women, children, and families. They have separate men and women's dormitories, with the women's being much smaller than the men's. There is also a family dormitory where families can be housed together.

It is required that residents be out of the house most of the day, either working or searching for employment. There are exceptions for those working chores such as in the kitchen, etc or those who simply cannot be outside like those who are in respite care.

It's really quite amazing. And that is just a scratch of the surface of that facility. The Coalition also has several other homeless shelters and clinics available, owned and operated through the Archdioses of Denver. They also have many affordable senior living locations all over the metropolitan area. It's an amazing and extensive network that really offers a lot of services to the homeless community. And unfortunately, even with all that they do, they still only reach a small portion of the homeless community in Denver.

There are so many issues surrounding homeless, it's overwhelming to think of how to start repairing the system. It is a problem that encompasses financial hardships, mental health issues, the prison/jail systems, access to health care, community health, social work, government assistance programs, addiction, detox, etc. Really overwhelming when you start to think about it!

Anywho, that's where I'm at right now. Really exhausted, excited for this rotation, BUT even more excited to be done in three weeks :-) Just 3 more left to go. We can do it!!

End of Practicum and (almost the end of nursing school)

Just when I think life couldn't get any busier, nursing school yet again pushes the limits!

I finished senior practicum a little over a week-and-a-half ago, yet it feels like a month ago thanks to HOW MUCH stuff has been jampacked into my schedule since then.

Senior practicum ended wonderfully. The staff encouraged and comforted me by saying I should come work with them, that I did a great job. My preceptor had the ultimate compliments in terms of she was incredibly bored at the end, and even entrusted me to leave the room most of the nights the last two nights of practicum. Having her trust my judgment was awesome! Granted my babies were lower acuity, it still was a great compliment to be entrusted in their care. I got some encouragement also from our last nursing buddy who is a new NICU nurse, who still feels very new to caring for the babies (and yet I think she is a rockstar). She echoed a lot of my insecurities being a nursing student in terms of still being unsure of herself and very new to the unit, feeling as though she didn't manage her time the most efficiently or have all the answers. I enjoyed seeing her ask for help and ask questions for things she was unsure of. It means being a nurse I don't have to have ALL the answers, rather I need to rely on my nursing team.

Overall, a really great experience. I learned so much about neonates, I became much more familiar and comfortable in being around babies ;-) and I had a great time doing so. I did learn, however, that I while I loved it, I would not want to start in the NICU. Because it is so specialized, I could see myself losing many different skills and knowledge, and for me, it didn't have enough of the challenge that I want when I first start. There is a lot that I would love to do with my nursing career and I don't see starting in the NICU lining up with any of that.

Now that I am done with practicum, I am in my last rotation....Community Health!! Yay, almost done!! However, this is the craziest rotation by far. It's the most jam-packed with assignments and projects and sheer demands of time. I'm in class two days a week, clinical three days a week, service learning Saturday mornings, and working Sundays....hence that leaves absolutely no free time, and the free time I have in the evenings is gobbled up by studying, writing papers, and finishing little things.

Oh and applying for The Children's Hospital Colorado's New Grad Residency Program!!

Let's see how these weeks progress....the end is drawing near!! Yet also so far away in terms of the projects I need to get done...and am hence avoiding while writing this....

Rock the Vote

I CANNOT wait for this election to be over. I don't think I've ever seen so much backstabbing, finger-pointing, and let's not even get started on the ads. Living in a swing state I want to pull my hair out most days. If you are ever watching tv, every commercial is a campaign ad of some sort, between the presidential campaign and then local political ads. Radio campaign ads. And all the damn ads that pop up when browsing the web. I'm TIRED of it.

However, all that aside. I voted today. Going to hand in my ballot later this afternoon (thank you mail-in ballots that allow the flexibility to research the issues from the comfort of home!). Exercised my constitutional right. Informed myself on the candidates and issues via several resources that indicated voting history and judicial performance, etc. One really great website is www.votesmart.org. Utilize and expand your knowledge and OWN opinion, not the skewed media propaganda thrown our way.

I see the light!!!

Today is the first day that I have been able to wake up and enjoy the sunlight in four weeks, and baby am I really loving it! Of course I have four night shifts this next week but this weekend I get to enjoy a little of that wonderful Vitamin D :-)

And in other ways I am seeing the light. I am seven weeks away from graduating. Eight weeks from nurse pinning. While they are a jam-packed seven weeks, I am finally close enough that the end is a small beakoning light on the distant shore leading me in. What a wonderful feeling that is!! Although I have no idea what life holds after that.

The thought of being an RN is a wee bit closer, a wee bit more realistic, and I can say though the last year has been painful, I'm starting to see the pay off!! 

Mid-Senior Practicum Reflection

This rotation has been a busy, chaotic, educational, lonely, and frazzled one.

I have never minded working nights. The pay differential is amazing, the evenings are usually more quiet and leave more room for really taking your time and getting to know your patients. However, that is when you are actually working, getting paid, and working your own desired schedule. When I did work nights, I did all three in a row so that I could have days off to myself....and I could be awake during days. Because I am doing three days of clinical and working at least one day a week, that means four nights a week I am doing something, and they aren't all in a row, which means I have to be diligent in keeping on my night schedule. So my "days" off are lonely nights spent watching tv, grocery shopping, and cleaning, much like tonight. However, it has proved a great learning opportunity to me.

The graduate NICU at PSL has allowed me a unique opportunity. Most of my classmates are also in ICU's or ED's, critical care units, on day shift. They are seeing tons of interesting cases/scenarios and taking care of some pretty intense patients. While I take care of a very focused population that experiences very similar situations, marked free of disease other than congenital anomalies, with disease processes that are understood and predictable. The unique aspect is that my preceptor is allowing me to take care of the babies on my own. She is allowing me the opportunity to assume being the nurse and making the experience really into the nursing role for myself. She allows me to critically think and provide my nursing reasoning skills in my care (and of course guides and corrects me when I'm not quite on target with her reasoning). What it is allowing me to do is learn time management, workflow, and clinical reasoning. I'm not seeing tons of interesting stuff, but I'm learning other aspects of nursing such as delegation, time management, critical thinking and reasoning, disease process, prophylactic interventions, physical assessments, etc. It's been an awesome rotation in that aspect. And I'm learning tons.

Contrary to adults, neonates bodies respond the exact opposite of how we learned adults respond to different disease processes or conditions. In that aspect, and in caring for neonates, it's all new territory.

The only problem will be studying for NCLEX, which is all geared towards adult med/surg after this rotation is done. I will have to go back and remember everything in the adult world. I guess it just means I will have to study even harder!! And go through tons of practice questions.

I've had a plethora of babies however. I'm currently up to taking care of 4 babies. I was able to take care of 3 babies all on my own last week. So much so that my preceptor was bored by 10pm and spent two nights playing games on her phone. This week (a week ahead of schedule), she thought me ready to bump up to 4 babies. We walked into a pretty high acuity 4 baby assignment, and while it was incredibly overwhelming, it was an absolutely great experience. We will be shooting to have 4 baby assignments for the rest of our time together over the next five shifts.

I've had respiratory babies, GI babies, cystic fibrosis, ostomies, OG/NG tubes, TPN/lipds, isolettes, open cribs, CF/HF oxygen delivery, and there is one baby who had a foley that I got to observe. All in all I would say I've been able to see quite a bit. I'm doing the initial assessment, cares, lab draws, etc. The only thing I haven't yet tried is starting a PIV, and that's because my only opportunity has been on a baby who is a notoriously hard stick and I'm just not going to do that to a poor little babe who has been nothing but a pin cushion since birth.

I need to get better at interacting with families, and confidence in myself, but I feel like that will come with time. It's a lot to take in and learn all at once. I feel like I'm getting there, slowly but surely. We will see how the next two weeks pan out!!

 This is me, while at work, looking out over the city through the 7A windows at work...while mostly you can see the desk and the reflection of what's behind me, you can also see the dots of the lights on the buildings. I thought it was pretty cool :-)

Senior Practicum Week One Reflection

I.Am.Exhausted.

I guess what's what happens when you work a shift at DH (staying up for 24h d/t class the next morning) and then turn right around and do 4 clinical shifts in 5 days. I'm also working nights right now so trying to get my body to readjust is sort of a pain in the butt. Sleeping during the day isn't too difficult but it isn't easy. My body really will only sleep for a few hours at a time. Therefore, I'm a tidge exhausted.

This has been quite the week!! I introduced myself into the NICU, and all it's unique needs, and newness of working with infants. And in four short shifts, worked my way up to caring for 2 lower acuity babes.

Like I said, P/SL was gracious enough to allow me into their graduate NICU, which is part of the Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children @ P/SL.

I like to call it the med/surg of NICU's. The babies are stable but are chronically sick. That means after the critical care aspect has been stabilized, they are sent up to the graduate NICU where they remain for quite awhile until they are able to go home. Down in Level III is more like the ED/SICU of the NICU. The graduate NICU is like the MICU/med-surg floors. The babies are adorable and acuity can be low to high. The babies need a lot of support either way. They range from "grower-feeders" to those that are on the cusp of possibly crumping without constant assessment and surveillance.

My time has been amazing. I worked my way up to caring for two of the babies on my own, with the support of my preceptor Tami, who is a wonderfully sweet woman, who has patience with all my questions and nervousness.

There is one baby I absolutely fell in love with. He had a very rough start to his entrance in this world. But over the four shifts I had with him, he captured my heart. He's a tiny little thing, though for his gestation he is normal. I guess I'm just not used to working with such tiny ones. He has this hair that just spikes all over the place. He has these incredibly dark eyes, and such personality. He is calm and mainly quiet, very patient as you work with him most of the time. He just stares up at you and roots around for his hands, or simply just lays and stares at you. If you face him towards the wall, he gives you this "Are you serious right now?" sort-of look. When you feed him, he doesn't have a blank stare. His dark eyes piercingly and quizzically look at you the whole time. While burping, he enjoys the time sitting up and relishes in being fully supported.

I'm not someone who has a desire to have kids anytime soon. But he could totally convince me to have children. Only if they were exactly like him. Despite all he's been through (the roughest start to life) he was the champ in the room, coming off of oxygen, feeding every other cares time, and maintaining really well.

These next two shifts we will move to a room that has a higher acuity, and I will continue to care for two babies. I might even take over caring for three babies on thursday ;-)

Until then, here's a little hello from the graduate NICU (night shift of course)!

1st Day of Senior Practicum

Last night was my first night in senior practicum. I'm in what's called the grad NICU at PSL. It's the NICU where the babies go once they are more stable but still unable to go home. There's potentially still a lot of risks involved with them but the critical care aspect isn't as high as I was hoping it would be.

The staff at PSL is incredibly welcoming! They all welcomed me in and treated me with wonderful courteous-ness from the beginning. My preceptor is incredibly smart and knowledgeable and is a mom herself, so brings a mom-like quality to the table yet still expects performance from me.

The night went rather smoothly. We had as assignment of three small babes. Each one of them was getting antibiotics which meant they all had peripheral IV's. We do "cares" every 3 hours, which include taking temps, changing diapers, flushing lines, quick assessments, and feedings. The night stayed pretty busy due to this but also due to having to replace each one of the little babes IV sites.

Babies have tiny tiny veins to begin with. Add in their smaller size and then trying to get a PIV started is almost ghastly. Really to the point that on the 2nd baby I got queasy and had to step away (also might have had something to do with getting incredibly hot from standing under the warming light). What really killed me was the number of pokes done to each child before help or use of evidence-based practice was used.

We are taught, and it has been shown to be remarkably more effective, that with babies with such small veins doing a thorough search using the little illuminators works very well for finding and getting a vein. Not to mention warming up the site to make the veins pop, etc. Very little of this was done and the babies were poked up to 6 times before someone from the level III NICU (the more critical babies) was called in to also attempt. 10 pokes on one baby to get an IV when probably half, or well below half, of that could have been attempted had a little more time put into the extra measures.

Or perhaps that's just my opinion.

And then there's the whole doubt in my mind over sucrose and whether it really eliminates pain, or just overwhelms the babies system. I'm not a huge believer in the sucrose for pain relief. Then again I haven't worked with neonates for many odd years like these nurses have. It did help to calm the babies down, but I'm not sure I would call it a pain reliever.

A few ethical concerns while there but then again that's to be expected, I knew that going in.

Overall a really great night and really exciting start to the next five weeks of my time there!! By the end Tami wants me taking care of a 4-baby assignment. Think I'm ready?! We will sure see.

NICU

My first shift for senior practicum is tonight! I will be doing my senior practicum in the Level II NICU at Presbyterian St. Luke's Hospital. So many emotions going through me: excitement, nervousness, fear, trepidation, enthrallment, giddiness, anxiousness....I have absolutely NO idea what to expect in regards to any aspect of the experience, all I hope is that I can learn tons, enjoy the rotation, and become more of a self-actualizing nurse and not just a nursing student who follows people around all day!!

It's getting closer to pinning ceremony. 10 weeks and counting. Wow craziness.

Stronger - Seattle Children's Hospital

Sometimes we need those little reminders of why we do something or go through something. This absolutely heart-warming video fell into my lap last night and reminded me WHY I am going through this last frustrating year of my life. This is why I am doing what I do and this is what it's all about....this is why we want to be nurses. Soak in the amazing strength these kids have!!

Looking Towards the Future

I think one of the things I lose sight of a lot in this midst of this program is what really matters. Wrapped in an atmosphere that includes always trying to 1up each other, always trying to be the best, you lose sight of what you came into this program for, what's important, etc.

I really need a break from this program and the chaos, the pressures and expectations, the massive quantities of random bullshit to do. There are good and bad aspects to each nursing program, this will always be true. There are some great things about Regis and there are also some things that I honestly can't stand, and can't wait to be done with.

But because of that, there are a bunch of things I am yearning for.

I yearn for a day where I can sleep in, wake up....without the burden of another assignment that needs to be finished or studying that needs to be done. Rather the only expectation are those that are laid upon myself, by myself.

I yearn for a day spent in the beautiful Colorado mountains away from the bustle of everything here. I have not had a chance and still have several weeks left before I will have an opportunity to not be tied to the immediate Denver metro area. I want to be able to get away from this place for even a day. Go take a day trip to Estes, and walk along the boardwalk until the sun sets with my grandmother. Go sit in a chair and listen to the river all day long if I so choose. Go see the changing of the fall leaves on the trees....inviting in the richness of the golds, reds, and autumn colors before the blanket of winter white envelopes their richness.

I yearn for a roadtrip. An escape from this place. A chance to get away.

I yearn for a place that is constant, where I fit in. I yearn for a work environment that stands for what I do and not what stands in principle for Regis. I want to be free of the expectations of a student and at the same time, get respect that most nursing students don't get. I yearn for a place where I get to be part of a permanent work family and develop relationships, where my personality can once again come out.

I yearn for a night off!! I yearn for a night spent having drinks with friends, joking around....because in this atmosphere I cannot and have not been able to do that.

I yearn from time away from my fellow nursing students. No offense, but I'm tired of only having these people in my life. It's time for some more variety to be added back in.

Variety is truly the spice of life.

I yearn for relaxation. Really. I think a massage, chiropractic adjustment, and day spent watching Grey's Anatomy with my mother would do my world SOO many wonders. Or a day spent shopping. Or how about froo-froo drinks on a warm beach :-)

I yearn to have time to set up consistent exercise again!! I need to lose this nursing school weight!! Get back in shape.

I yearn for a lot, and am ready to be done. 10 more long weeks and we WILL in fact be done with this program. And I can't flippin wait!!

The Human Experience

So this is what I do in my free time, my one reprieve: I watch netflix instant. It is how I unwind at the end of the day, it's what I use to break up the continual studying I've done over the course of this year. I like indulging in my tv shows and watching documentaries.

The other day I was pondering through my documentaries on my queue...and I decided to watch one I've had on my list for awhile. Titled "The Human Experience" it is a film about a few young altruistic men who set on on the ultimate experience: placing themselves in the shoes of others. They go through three profound experiences. The first experience is living homeless on the streets of New York for a week. The second is traveling with some surfers, who partake in an organization called Surf for the Cause, who travel around the world surfing the waters of several countries but also giving back to the communities with which they experience...in this case  with the lost children of Peru at the Villa la Paz Foundation started by Dr. Anthony Lazzara. The third experience finds them in Africa at a leprosy colony with a friend who is documenting the lives of the outcast lepers who are left to fend for themselves in an outside colony.

Each one of these experiences offers a unique looks into a world of humanity vastly different than the one with which most Americans are familiar. While no one's problems can ever be doubted, the documentary is powerful in that it shows the unique challenges, trials, and tribulations each one of these cultures of people experience...yet the happiness, faith, and love that exudes from each population.

There is something to be said about living beyond yourself, for others. It's one of those things that has always called to me. And since watching the documentary, it offered a brief glimpse outside of my nursing school world, back to why I am gaining this education and licensure. So I can travel the world and give to others. Not to sit in a comfy hospital for the rest of my life. I believe that each one of us can give to others within the means that we have. Whether that giving is monetary, time, or energy. We can give faith, happiness, support, encouragement, love and respect to others. We can give our time, listening ear, embrace, or time spent in silence...just to know we are not alone. Or we can give much more, if we have the means, whether it be materials or money, to benefit the lives of others. Even without excess, each one of us holds the power to connect with others of the human race, and to show the light of how alike we all are in our humanity. We all love, we all smile, we all belong to this world.

I still have 10 weeks of nursing school left. I am exhausted, overburdened, and overwhelmed. Most of the time I am not quite sure that I really can do this. That I am smart enough to pass my boards, to be a nurse, and be afforded the privilege to be let in the lives of others in their most vulnerable times and be entrusted with their lives. Yet I believe that is what fuels the fire for my nursing career. Not the money, prestige, etc. It's the opportunity to give back to my fellow humans, to provide for them, and to afford them opportunities they wouldn't have otherwise.

I believe that is one of the reasons the Lord has laid His hand upon my senior practicum to be in the NICU. To bring me back to what started this whole journey, to remind me of what I've been working towards, and what I desire in this nursing journey. What I believe in and what is important. Because I can tell you right now, many of the principles that this program encompasses do not hold true to my own principles and values for the future.

The emphasis on an esteemed reputation, and on being the best. That is not what I value. I value the ability to connect with my patients, to touch them and provide a human connection, whether it be at a turning point to continue on in life or to face death. I value respect and equality, not perfection. I value love and uniqueness, not uniformity. I think that's what I needed to be reminded of, and what a wonderful documentary to do that. If there is a will, there is a way. If there is a heart, then I will take great care of my patients. I won't be perfect, I won't know all the answers, but I will be there, and I will provide love and respect to my patients. I will look for opportunities to work outside of my comfort zone. And I will continue to learn more about other cultures and peoples and not stay in my cultured bubble. I want to travel the world, and see the people/cultures of the world. I want to experience humanity, and all the beauty it brings.

With a Sigh of Relief

I just finished my med/surg II comprehensive final (also known as care of the adult and older adult II), and I feel like I can finally let out a small sigh of relief. Of course in the world of the accelerated BSN, there is always one.more.thing. to turn in and/or do at all times. But I feel like I am slowly on the downhill slope.

We finished all of the crazy lectures, tests, etc. We have to finish clinicals and the benchmark ATI exams this week and do a comprehensive ATI (to see how well we might do on the NCLEX) but those aren't the huge things for this class.

Next are senior practicum and then we end with community nursing!! Senior practicum involves strictly clinical hours. 180 hours of working more in the role of a nurse. Following one preceptor's schedule. And that's it. No tests, no gimmicks, none of that. Strictly 3 12-hr shifts of working each week (plus my additional shift of working at DH of course).

I've kept a low profile. Between time constraints, my depressive mood, and being so exhausted I have stayed far far away from the public forum...both facebook and blogging.

Nursing school has literally eaten me whole, swallowed me alive. But I feel like I might be getting my life back.

My senior practicum will be the night shifts at Presbyterian St. Luke's in the NICU...and I'm SOO stoked. The place that started my passion for nursing, it's like it is coming back full circle!! I couldn't be more pumped :-) I feel night shifts will be great for me as they are "slower" paced, there are less people around and I can really focus on my nursing skills and perhaps even study what it is what situations I am in at that time. I can look up disease processes, care, diagnoses, etc. I feel it will be better for me to understand the nursing process of taking care of neonates in a critical care setting so much better!!

Other than that, I plan on getting back into more of my hobbies. I want to finish my painting, I want to work on my tshirt blanket, and I want to read a few books for fun. I want to get back to some normalcy. While socialization will probably still have to wait for a little while, I can start getting back to things that really interest and make up life, not just things that involve or revolve around nursing school. 

It will be SOO great :-)

Vanity/Highchair DIY

It's taken me a little while to get this blog post up d/t the demands of nursing school as of late.

As of late, Med/Surg II has eaten pretty much ALL of my time, and I've spent more time studying than ever before.

However, on the week we had off I had a chance to work on the vanity project with my dad and get it almost completely finished. I was also able to make a necklace holder (thank you pinterest for the inspiration). I was also able to get the highchair finished.

Here's the pics with the explanations of what all we did!

I found some gems at a thrift store right before I started nursing school. We were walking through one of the Denver thrift stores when I happened to find this awesome vintage highchair just chilling among the furniture. I swooped it up, with my brother and sister-in-law expecting, thinking it would prove to be an awesome piece! However, it was a color that leaves a ton to be desired.

While it wasn't bad, yellow with golden accents isn't exactly my style. 

Just a peek at what it looked like before...

The first break we had from nursing school, I stripped the paint off of the chair with paint stripper. My pieces of advice: wear long sleeves and pants and make sure you have an awesome stripping tool!

 

after pain stripping

After the paint stripping, it still needed to be sanded down to get the loose paint off and in the nooks and crannies. I also used toothpicks to get in the round details. I recommend blowing it off with an air compressor or the like once done with that. Then it was on to painting. I initially wanted to do a weathered look but my mom (aka grandma) wanted a crisp look. She also wanted to do white but I wanted to add some color, so I chose this color. It's Schooner Blue from the Olympia line. I got it at Lowe's :-)

I chose the dry brush stroke method, to give it a little imperfection. Which meant I had to apply two coats and meant it took longer than just slothering it all over. I also took a small acrylic brush from Michaels to do the white decorative rings. All in all it came out really nice and I love it!! However, I'll probably be the last person in our family to have children ;-) 

 without any filters and with overhead lights in the garage on

The finished product

The next project was a quick necklace holder, inspired by projects found on pinterest. My father was replacing the front fence and gate so I salvaged some wood for my project, one of the old weathered beams. I got the teal knobs on sale and the clear/bubbly ones for full price at anthropologie. Simply, I pilot drilled the holes and counter-sank a small recess into the wood....or should I say my father helped me to do so :-) The we screwed the jigsaw picture-frame holders on each side of the back to hold it up on the wall. It's bigger than most that I've seen on pinterest...but I didn't want to alter the wood at all, simply sand it down a little to get the rough splinters off. I loved the weary-ness of it and didn't want to ruin that by sawing it off at the end. 

We also finished up the vanity, which I never blogged about. This we made from scratch. My mom found a simple plan she liked, my father figured the dimensions, and we set off to work. This project overall took two weeks to finish (and still isn't completely finished as we haven't fully set it up stairs and put the counter on). We used a raw cherry wood, in which we rabbit holed the pieces together by a pilot drill with a counter-sink. We were going for a more farmhouse feel. Simple yet farmhouse. Once all together, I used Minwax Special Walnut wood stain (two coats applied thickly with a brush and then wiped with a clean cloth), followed by two coats of Minwax Polyurethane.

the hardware looks like this, though I couldn't find the exact cabinet pull on the website 

 

  As for the process, here is a quick montage of the project up until we need to put the sink on ;-) 

 a lot of wood glue and clamps were involved in this project

 after the first coat of stain

after the second coat of stain, the two coats of polyurethane and the hardware application

Once we get the sink and faucet hardward installed I post the FINAL picture of the vanity. Also mad props to my faja (aka pops) as he was the one who mainly did everything. I provided moral support, physical support, and my common smartass comments during the entire project. And of course, the expert wood glue applier and excess wiper ;-) 

Once I'm done with nursing school, I'm sure we have more projects lined up but until then, my only other projects include a canvas and paintbrush. I'll also post that project once it's done.